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Help me talk to my BF about this

(23 Posts)
Tearsoffrustration Wed 10-Feb-16 06:47:18

BF thought I did something which he considers rude yesterday (i didn't do it)

However even if I had done it the fact he got annoyed by it, I feel is over sensitive & childish, if it had happened to me it wouldn't even come up on my radar.

I'd love you just forget about it but it's playing on me.

We'll probably end up talking about it when I see him later but don't want to come across as trying to minimise his feelings on it.

TokenGinger Wed 10-Feb-16 06:50:22

It'd help to know what it was so we can judge whether his reaction was appropriate or not.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 10-Feb-16 06:52:32

Would it have been on your radar because you don't think it's rude or because you would have let it go?

How annoyed did he get? Flying off the handle with rage or mild irritation.

Context is everything!

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 10-Feb-16 06:54:05

*not been on your radar

Tearsoffrustration Wed 10-Feb-16 07:04:48

He thought I'd text him - he replied asking for clarification of the text - I'd read the text and then updated my Facebook status with with a more detailed account of what I'd told him - therefore answering his question before texting him back & he thinks this is rude.

What actually happened was text to him - Facebook status (with more detailed account as I don't speak to my FB friends everyday) then I read his message.

If someone did that to me it wouldn't even be a thing in my mind - as far as I'm concerned my friends can read messages/update FB statuses as and when they want.

He was definitely in a mood - I'm annoyed with myself for being annoyed! I'm being just as over sensitive as him!

Whocansay Wed 10-Feb-16 07:17:07

I'm struggling to see why anyone would be offended and think that's rude. I'm not sure what's to talk about. He's looking for a bit of drama and is an idiot.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Wed 10-Feb-16 07:27:12

Well I suppose it depends on the nature of the text.

What do you want for dinner or will you marry me.

newname99 Wed 10-Feb-16 07:45:14

Yes, I do think more detail is needed.It seems he's annoyed that you went public on something (positive news?) and he would have preferred you had made sure he knew the news before telling the FB world.

It could be he's over sensitive or even controlling but I guess you might also ask yourself how important is the FB world and does it cause impact to personal relationships.
If the news was something personal I think it deserves clarifying/celebrating between you too, rather than launching on FB.I wonder if he felt unimportant if he was grouped in with FB friends.

firesidechat Wed 10-Feb-16 08:17:23

On the face of it he seems over sensitive, but I agree with others, we need to know vaguely what the message was about.

wannaBe Wed 10-Feb-16 08:23:55

So, you sent him a summary text of some news which didn't make sense on the face of it. Then, before you could clarify to him what you meant you put the full detail on FB? Therefore creating the idea that you gave him the summarised version which you expected him to get, and then made the actual version public for all your mates to see before he even knew what it was you were on about.

For me it would really depend on what the news was, but if it was something important or relevant I can see why he would be pissed off.

CuttedUpPear Wed 10-Feb-16 08:26:41

The past tense of text is texted.

And YANBU, your BF is being oversensitive.

Tearsoffrustration Wed 10-Feb-16 09:20:44

It wasn't anything important just something funny my DS said.

TheNaze73 Wed 10-Feb-16 09:27:52

Sounds like a massive overreaction on his part. As a bloke, I'm embarrassed when I hear stuff like this

SelfLoathing Wed 10-Feb-16 10:01:58

>>>I'm struggling to see why anyone would be offended and think that's rude.

I think that's rude but I think it depends on your attitude to Fb. a text is a private conversation. if you ask someone something in a private text conversation, but they don't reply and instead answer you by updating a public status to everyone, it is very dismissive of you and ignores the privacy of the conversation. Not replying is rude anyway. What's the big deal with answering 'please see my fb status.' if that's what you want to do.

But I hate FB and can't bear it when people have private conversations publicly. pick up the phone to your partner/mother/son/daughter/etc! or at least a private message.

Tearsoffrustration Wed 10-Feb-16 12:31:46

It isn't exactly a private matter though - it's just something I thought was funny.

summerainbow Wed 10-Feb-16 13:48:29

So your child did something funny .
You sent a quick text to your boyfreind about it but it did not make sense.
While you writing a facebook post telling the whole story, he txt you to ask what on earth you were on about.
When finish on facebook you read his msg and txt him back.

He thinks it rude that he thinks you ignored his txt and posted on facebook.

Texting is not instant it might seem that way but it is not.
You don't have answer a txt straight away .
He could have phone you.

TheNaze73 Wed 10-Feb-16 14:15:22

summerrainbow is spot on. Texting, mobiles, FB etc, just add an extra layer of complexity to everything sometimes. If he was that concerned, he should have just picked up the phone

SelfLoathing Wed 10-Feb-16 15:02:54

It isn't exactly a private matter though

it doesn't matter whether the subject was private. you missed my point. a text conversation is a two way private conversation. not replying = a snub if you choose to answer on a public fb post. how was he supposed to know that was your answer anyway? ESP? obsessively checking all your social media 'just in case'? I think it's rude but just my view.

Tearsoffrustration Wed 10-Feb-16 17:22:16

summerrainbow that's exactly how it was

selfloathing no I wasn't answering on FB - I was telling the story on my status

mumofthemonsters808 Wed 10-Feb-16 17:29:12

This is the second Fb thread I've read in five minutes and I've come to the conclusion it's more trouble than it's worth. It also confirms my opinion that it's not for anyone over the age of 25, try talking to him.

Duckdeamon Wed 10-Feb-16 17:31:13

He was being unreasonable.

Hissy Wed 10-Feb-16 17:33:16

Bin him.

He's too stupid to be your boyfriend. Your son deserves someone better than that to be potentially in his life.

If you need help talking to a boyfriend over something like this, really, it's very bad news.

Please just call it quits.

goddessofsmallthings Wed 10-Feb-16 18:33:11

Something as trivial as this is not worth talking about and if your bf raises the subject the only thing you need to say to him is 'Get over it or you're history I'll get over you'.

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