This is really hard for me to write so please be kind bit honest. I lost my DH to a heart attack 11 years ago had a DD aged 12 and DS 19 then at university. We all went through a lot including financial worries almost lost the house and grief. Extended family kept their distance, fortunately some good friends rallied around. Through all this and for years after DS was my rock and the person without whom I could never have got through it. He is amd always has been a very caring and grown up young man. He moved back after university and got a job not his dream one but one that would lead to a good career. Fortunately we live in a part of the country where jobs are to be found. He was working really hard as was I amd he helped with bills, paid rent etc. If I am honest I came to rely on him like a husband and didn't exactly encourage him to move out and make his own life. Add to this my grieving DD was a terribly difficult teen and in his 20s DS had to deal with this and she would barely acknowledge him or accept his authority. He worked worked worked and helped me plan my finances, drove his sister around and generally had the life of a forty not twenty something. He did socialise but well realistically it was curtailed as public transport isn't great where we live to get to the local station. He qualified in his field and started looking for a place a few years later and moved out into his own flat aged 28. I am so ashamed to admit I was a nightmare possessive mother and didn't even make this easy for him. His friends had all moved out years before. He continued to help with bills and so on even though he has his own mortgage now. He is 30 now and I overheard him saying to a family friend how hard it was for him having early responsibilities. He has a good job but doesn't much like it and I think he feels he will never have a personal life as his 20s passed him by and people seem to have moved on. Again I am mortified to confess I never made it easy for him that way too and he never brought anyone home partly because there was such a bad atmosphere and he felt I would want him all to myself. Life is a bit easier now but I wish things had been different. Am I a bad mother?
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Relationships
DS unhappy and feel I am partly to blame
75 replies
Loveneverdies · 08/02/2016 17:32
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