My mother is a highly intelligent, frustrated, self absorbed woman who I suspect recognises these traits in herself.
She is on her own - divorced - and I think her life depends far too much on her children and their interests rather than cultivating her own interests.
My siblings and I all live relatively close by - within 10 miles. We aren't extremely close but we all get along well enough but we recognise - and laugh about - our mother's ways.
I'm desperate to move away a little with my family. Out of the city and to a town. I'm not a city person and I think a smaller town would benefit everyone. This is about 20 miles away with good bus links.
My mother drives but not confidently so it would be a 2 bus journey of up to 1.5 hours or a 20 minute car, then 10 minute trains and small taxi ride. Or a 40 minute trip for us driving. My partner and I both drive.
My mum is devastated we are even considering it. I am apparently selfish and naive and immature and a million other things. Stupid unlike my siblings. Selfish to take my children out a city.
I'm so resentful of this reaction. I feel we would see her as much (once a week). She knows neither my partner or I is happy in the city. There are places we could move to a little nearer eg suburbs but it's not what we want.
Half of me thinks - it's not bloody Australia, get a bloody grip. And a part of me can understand why she wants her family near.
Has anyone been through this?
I generally get on ok with her but I'm rather patient. I find she can be very hard work. Our upbringing was fairly awful - cold and detached and she is very ambitious and we had a lot to live up to (which we clearly haven't!) but she has mellowed a lot as she has aged - so I have forgiven much - but I feel incredibly controlled.
Any advice? Do I sound ridiculous?
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Relationships
Controlling mother - or am I selfish?!?! I want to move away...
Roonerspism · 07/02/2016 15:12
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