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How do I ask her about her Dad (poss Trigger)

(2 Posts)
iamjustlurking Sun 07-Feb-16 08:50:50

I have mulled this over for a while now and still no closer to a conclusion.

When I was about 8yrs old I went to a friends house for tea we were knelt down leaning over a coffee table playing a game. Her dad knelt down behind me and put his hands up my top and kind of rubbed my back then moved his hands around. I initially just froze and then jumped and said I remembered I had to go home.

I never told anyone and to my now shame just dropped the friend and never spoke to her again. She was always a very meek and quiet child, we ended up at the same senior school but our paths never really crossed she was always very reserved

As I got older I always wondered if he "touched" her but how do you ask and wonder if she suffered alone ?

I haven't seen or heard from her for 30 odd yrs then through the power of FB and a web of coincidence we got back in touch.

Now my dilemma, do I bring up the subject, do I ask if her dad is about or do I just leave alone. Could my asking her open a flood gate or could it be the 1st step in her being able to confide (if indeed it is the case) ?

We have briefly chatted she is no longer local, am I wanting resolution for me am I being selfish ? I feel so bad for just dropping her now.

AlwaysHopeful1 Sun 07-Feb-16 09:00:59

I'm sorry that happened to you but I don't think you should ask her that. It's been 30 years and you aren't close at all. I don't see how you can ask something that will have a huge impact on her life, especially if nothing happened to her.

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