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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Ghosted

112 replies

muffymk · 06/02/2016 23:46

Hi all

Im just so hurt, sad, angry.

My boyfriend ( I suppose he isnt now) has ghosted me. We were together for over two years. I knew he was at a crossroads in his life with his job and kids but he then said that he didnt 'know' about us. He said this over the phone . He came over the Sunday but he was quieter than usual had sex. He told me he loved me in the morning and on Monday night he told me. Since then i have heard nothing even thought i keep messaging him desperately to give me some closure but again nothing. We saw each other nearly every day and this is killing me.

He always came here. I never even knew where he lived or met his kids..after two years. This is like a bad dream and my head keeps spinning. Its like im at some messy crime scene with no key witnesses telling me what happened

OP posts:

Report

RealityCheque · 06/02/2016 23:52

You do know he was almost certainly married? Or similar?

muffymk · 06/02/2016 23:54

No he wasnt. He was here every day and every other weekend

I just do not understand. Its like a part of me has been stolen x

OP posts:

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 06/02/2016 23:55

Sounds to me rather as though he's been busted by his wife. He sounds like a shot so you're probably much better off without him in your life although of course you feel hurt now.

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 06/02/2016 23:57

When I say 'shot' what I really mean is 'shit'

Bloody autocorrect

muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:01

No he wasnt married

He was here from 8pm to morning for when he left for work x

OP posts:

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 07/02/2016 00:03

Where was he the weekends he wasn't with you?

BunnyTyler · 07/02/2016 00:04

He could well have been working away from home for the last 2 years - going home every two weeks for the weekend?

Expellibramus · 07/02/2016 00:04

This must be horrible, do you know that he's ok in that you can see him online or he's going to work or something?

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:09

I'm sorry but sounds like he did have another life, two years with not seeing his home is a big red flag in my opinion. You not ever meeting his children is also another big red flag

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:09

And echo what another poster said it must be awful for you, and I really hope I'm wrong

Kr1stina · 07/02/2016 00:12

Do you know where he works ? Have you ever met any of his colleagues, family or friends ?

What do you mean - you don't know where he lives? Surely he lives with you - you said you spend every night together and every second weekend.

muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:20

i have met a few of his friends. He saw his kids every other weekend. No he wasnt married. No he didnt live with me ...he just stayed here.

Im such an idiot x

OP posts:

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:30

Did he spend every night with you?

Kr1stina · 07/02/2016 00:31

I'm sorry, I don't understand the difference between living with you and staying with you all the time except two weekends a month . I'm not trying to nit pick, I'm trying to understand more about your relationship.

Do you know where he works ?

No you are not an idiot .

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:34

Also trying to understand more so can try and help

FellOutOfBedTwice · 07/02/2016 00:38

Do you have an address or work address/name of company you could google?

muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:41

I know where he works. Im not going there. I cant put myself though that.

Its just he came here because i have kids.

I feel he wasted my time. We are both in our 40s

Just feel used

OP posts:

muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:43

I dont understand the relationship. He was here every night mostly. Its like he has died

He was very generous with his time and did things around the house. I guess i got to comfortable and he rips the rug out from under me

OP posts:

muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:46

I cant eat or sleep. Its like some horrible limbo x

OP posts:

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:46

Explains a bit more why he was always at yours, I'm so sorry your going through this.

Has he done this before?

Men do sometimes "disappear" they go off into their caves sometimes when they need personal space.

But it does see, strange you say he didn't live with you but spent most nights with you.

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:48

And I wouldn't go to his work, if he is in "cave" moment you will just make things worse, or your end up looking like an idiot

hesterton · 07/02/2016 00:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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muffymk · 07/02/2016 00:52

Nope. Not at all

I feel very sad about it

OP posts:

patienceisvirtuous · 07/02/2016 00:54

Definitely a rabbit away.

Sorry OP, this is really crap for you x

EllieJayJay · 07/02/2016 00:55

If a friend said this to you, I'm sure you would find this strange

Love does very funny things to us.

Flip

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