Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Amicable split?

(4 Posts)
Divorcee1 Sat 06-Feb-16 22:38:16

Hello all, I really need some help.
I will provide as much detail as possible. I live in Scotland, I am married to a woman, we converted our civil partnership to marriage, and now we are splitting up, we need to get a divorce.

We split up around 8 months ago, but are still living together for financial reasons. We have two mortgages. The house we live in now is in her name, and she also owns another property that she had before we were together.

I have an interview soon, and hope I will get it as it will put me in the position to finally get out. Living together has become quite annoying as we can barely be in the same room together. We are both seeing other people and are rarely in at the same time. I work part time at the moment, organise all the childcare around my work. Ex goes away to work a lot and comes and goes as she pleases. This was annoying when we were together and was a reason we split up.

She is starting to get greedy about any possible money. We have two children, biologically mine,adopted by her. She paid the deposit for the house and feels she is entitled to all of that back. However, we just had a mortgage statement and I think there is possibly only about 2k equity in the house,so realistically,if we sold, she wouldn't get half back,never mind the full amount.

I am in a position to buy the house from her ,but haven't brought this up with her yet. I am not sure how to approach it without giving away lots of detail. A close family member will actually put the money in, as I was a SAHM and have no savings.

My part time wage isn't enough to get a mortgage without help.

I think she is going to get really grabby about money and maybe even refuse to leave the house.She has accumulated debt since we split.

What do I need to do? I am not even sure how to go about filing for divorce here! I remember reading so many of these threads and looking at how strong everyone can be. But when you are facing it, it is actually terrifying.

As soon as we split, I got a part time job, we are amicable when it comes to the kids etc.however she is lazy, rubbish with money and I am ready to move on, out and up or whatever is necessary. I would rather keep this home for the kids, and not be beholden to her by her owning it until the kids move out.

I don't know if I can get legal aid,or any tax credits as we still live together.

Any advice?

Marchate Sun 07-Feb-16 00:23:01

Regarding financial asset splitting, the Scottish legal system is considered fair. There are guidelines, probably on the Scottish Government site. I think it's Scotland.gov.uk

Look under law. There will be something useful, I'm sure

Divorcee1 Mon 08-Feb-16 09:56:49

Thank you Marchate

pocketsaviour Mon 08-Feb-16 12:49:43

This calculator should help you work out if you'll get help with costs.

I think you need to see a solicitor asap to get things moving. The financial split is going to depend on a lot of things including length of marriage (and I would think that this counts from the date of civil partnership for you), who is the primary resident parent, assets brought into marriage and each of your salaries.

If she formally adopted your DC (sorry it's not clear from your OP if you had them togther, or whether they were yours by a previous partner) she will have to pay maintenance unless you go 50/50.

Get yourself informed and then you'll have a much better idea of how to go forward smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now