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Over-reaction to DH?

(79 Posts)
CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:23:25

Last night, DH and I were having playful banter in bed. Nothing sexy, just messing around.

He then got in top of me and started pressing his erect penis against the outside of my vulva, groin area. I said, in a cheery way, that I didn't want to have sex. He persisted anyway, I repeated "No" a few times. He then tried to push it inside me and I said, very forcefully, "I said 'No'!" He then rolled off and said I wasn't a real wife, was crap, and "Who doesn't want to have sex?!"

I was furious. I felt totally disrespected. It isn't the first time he's done this.

He's still in a bad mood about my "over-reaction".

Not an AIBU, but am I over-reacting by feeling that he must have no respect for me?

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:25:17

Sorry, I meant to say that because I told him that I felt totally hurt disrespected, over-reacting apparently.

neighbourhoodwitch Sat 06-Feb-16 21:27:27

God not at all an over reaction. He did not respect your wishes. I am so sorry this happened to you.

Topseyt Sat 06-Feb-16 21:28:08

Not overreacting at all. That might have been attempted rape.

VimFuego101 Sat 06-Feb-16 21:28:23

He's a dick.

ImperialBlether Sat 06-Feb-16 21:29:36

Horrible bloke. And he's done it before? And then sulks?

You don't have to stay with him, you know.

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:30:12

He said it was just a joke and I have no sense of humour. I said I felt as though he'd tried to assault me and he just shouted something. Can't remember what, but it was insulting.

Jibberjabberjooo Sat 06-Feb-16 21:30:20

If you don't consent to sex it's rape. You are not over reacting about his behaviour.

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:31:51

It didn't take much effort to get him off me, but he was verbally vicious afterwards. I just feel used. Really not respected. Not an equal partner.

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:32:52

Thanks for your replies. It's good to know I'm not crazy.

LottieDoubtie Sat 06-Feb-16 21:34:27

shock It is him. Not you. Please don't feel you have to put up with this.

Jibberjabberjooo Sat 06-Feb-16 21:36:17

Does he act like a twat generally?

superzero Sat 06-Feb-16 21:37:03

You haven't overreacted.You've done nothing wrong.
He doesn't sound very understanding at all.
He shouldn't make you feel bad about turning him away.

AnyFucker Sat 06-Feb-16 21:37:06

You have it right and he has it wrong.

What is your next move ?

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:37:48

Unfortunately he is a selfish, inconsiderate, sulky sod for a lot of the time, yes.

AnyFucker Sat 06-Feb-16 21:38:26

You are still with him, why ?

BlondeOnATreadmill Sat 06-Feb-16 21:39:07

Well, if you were having playful banter in bed, I am assuming by this, that you mean play fighting, which I could imagine he thought was going to lead to sex (it would with us).

It sounds like he assumed that, but you didn't.

He didn't persist and enter you, so it's not rape.

If play fighting in the past has led to this outcome, why are you repeating it?

But I hope you know, that over the next few hours, you will be told that he is abusive, he is a rapist and you will be much pressed to LTB, call Women's aid, and to get him arrested for rape.

This is how these threads always go.

Only you know how it really went down. If you don't like his behaviour, you can leave him.

Haggisfish Sat 06-Feb-16 21:39:42

Yes, why? He's a twat.

superzero Sat 06-Feb-16 21:40:23

Have you got children?
If I did I might try and sort this out,if not ,time to go

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:40:57

Same old story - children and finances. I'm ashamed of my lack of backbone. I wish I could just leave. I'd hate for my daughter to end up with someone who does this to them, and I'll try my hardest to make sure my son isn't like him and respects women.

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:43:23

No, it was just chat not physical at all. I was surprised he had an erection, as we weren't being sexy, just joking around.

AnyFucker Sat 06-Feb-16 21:43:54

Blonde here you are again excusing dodgy sexual behaviour

It's OP's fault is it ? She is in a relationship with him and within reaching distance but didn't put out, so what's a man to do ?

I worry about you

AnyFucker Sat 06-Feb-16 21:45:16

Cheeky, your wishes for your dc are admirable but are you really sure that you staying with this man is the best course of action to realise them ?

CheekyMaleekey Sat 06-Feb-16 21:45:38

He's called me a "Broken wife" for not wanting sex many times. We have sex about once a week, which I know isn't loads, but it's hardly "broken", is it?

BlondeOnATreadmill Sat 06-Feb-16 21:46:12

Hmm. That's a bit different to the scene I was imagining then.


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