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OLD: Should I lie

(17 Posts)
coalfire Fri 05-Feb-16 17:34:34

I just turned 50 and I'm OLD When I was 49 I would still be contacted by men around my own age (49-53) and met two of them.

Two weeks ago my age clicker changed to fifty.

Since then everyone I've liked or messaged my own age has ignored me (and most have cut off ages at 49 even if they are older than me).

And three people have liked me - and they have all been 62 plus.
three weeks ago sixty year old men weren't even contacting me.

I suppose if I fell in love with a man ten years older than me I'd be happy enough. But in eight years I'll be 58 and I don't want to be starting my life with kids leaving home with a seventy year old man.

Should I just lie about my age? I really don't wan to be that person.

coalfire Fri 05-Feb-16 17:35:09

Actually OLD in this case I should specificy is short for On line dating...
although i'm also the other...

juneau Fri 05-Feb-16 17:42:51

I'd go back to being 48 if I was you.

Jeeve5 Fri 05-Feb-16 18:07:25

Hi coal, male poster who is OLD. Similar age to you. I've seen a reasonable number of female profiles with one age 'on the clicker' -not heard this term before and clarification of actual age in their profile. This would not deter me in the slightest! A male friend reported since he turned 50, he had much fewer +ve responses. In your situation for one year I'd be tempted just to submit a new profile and make yourself 1 year younger.
Good wishes with the dating!

Chimpfield Fri 05-Feb-16 18:18:27

I put up my hand.... I did lie, knocked two years off to make me 48...... five years along and I'm happily married to my hubby who is five years younger than me....... mind you if you had seen the look on his face when I told him "I have something to confess" was a picture.... we were in Times Square New York and I was bricking it as I thought he may have seen my passport - good luck, just go for it!

GreenRug Fri 05-Feb-16 18:21:35

Yep. Just lie. It's ridiculous you have to but in the greater scheme of things it's harmless.

PushingThru Fri 05-Feb-16 18:34:35

Don't lie. Perhaps seek different outlets for dating; lying would really put me off. I'm 36 & I'd date a 50 year old woman, but I wouldn't like a liar.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 05-Feb-16 18:51:01

I'd keep my real age (I'm nearly 41). Tbh, it's obvious when people have lied.

My experience of OD is that all men are seeking someone much younger. I often pass for early/mid 30s (I got ID'd a few months ago). I don't dress like a boring grown up, I still do fun stuff...

But the last guy I dated was clearly disatisfied with me because it didn't matter how young I looked, or the fact I was younger than him, or how much we had in common or how well we clicked, the bottom line was that he wanted someone who was >28.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 05-Feb-16 18:53:42

My point being (!) that if it's someone who's going to allow your age to get in the way, you don't want them anyway.

coalfire Fri 05-Feb-16 20:04:36

I am tempted to change my age and then clarify in the profile...

BatshitCrazyWoman Fri 05-Feb-16 20:05:12

I've only been OLD for a week, am a wee bit older than you, and haven't had that experience (but then, can't compare really as I wasn't OLD in my 40s!). I haven't lied about my age.

I've had a lot of 20 and 30 somethings message me (not interested) and only 1 or 2 in their 60s (not interested), out of hundreds of messages. I'm on OK Cupid - they have a Quick Match thing where you just click a cross or a star for no or yes, and you just see pictures, from all different age groups. I think that helps.

coalfire Fri 05-Feb-16 20:05:44

62 is a lot older than me. by the time my kids have left home he will be 72. i don't wan to retire with a 72 year old man. not if i have a choice.
but perhaps internet dating is all about the illusion of choice.
at my age, men my own age,if I'm very very lucky, are asking for an upper age limit one year below their own.

RedRainRocks Fri 05-Feb-16 20:15:32

Is there any option for not revealing your age? You can explain in your profile if you feel you need to, or simply admit in the messages before you meet that you're actually 50 and not 48, but that you were trying to avoid being in the target demographic for men 60+

I think most people do generally knock a couple of years off (although I bet half a dozen 'outraged of Aldershot' will be along to tell me I'm wrong). You may find the guy you think is 50, is actually 55 smile

sophwins4 Fri 05-Feb-16 20:18:47

Why are you thinking about who you will retire with? x

Cabrinha Fri 05-Feb-16 20:29:28

I did a short burst of OLD at 38 and then at 40. Big difference! (same profile and pics - yep, they were 18 months old photos but I hadn't noticeably changed - honest! - verified by friends and then dates!)

I don't think that the same man each time looked at my profile and saw 38 and thought "yes!" and saw 40 and thought "too old". More than people will search "30-39".

I would, up to age 42 I think, put 39 (though no younger). Then if I got chatting to someone older, and they asked to meet, I'd tell them before we met. Not even apologise - just say, I found an immediate drop off in messages so I clocked my age back to 39 - but so you know, I'm 42. In fact, it'd probably be worked into my first or second message, hamming up the big dark secret, or laughing about the artistic licence on OLD! I'd say "don't care about my age, but wanted to appear of searches". If the man was younger, I'd just be certain to bring it up ASAP. If someone told me very quickly, and before meeting, I wouldn't think them a liar.

Oysterbabe Fri 05-Feb-16 20:56:55

I think lying gets you off on the wrong foot. It would annoy me if someone I was interested in lied in their profile.

coalfire Fri 05-Feb-16 21:09:21

Oysterbabe: this is what I feel too. And yet one male friend has just started dating a woman from OLD that he matched with when she was flagged as 48 and who told him when they got it together that she was actually 52. By then it didn't matter.

My other male friend has been out with two women recently OLD who have lied. One said she was 42 but was 50 (he said she looked much younger, and he didn't mind). The other said she was 41 but was 43. He was annoyed with her, but only because he was annoyed with her about other things.

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