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My husband, his friend and his affair

(2 Posts)
Southampton1 Wed 03-Feb-16 20:31:16

A few days ago, my husband let it out that a good friend of his (20 years friends) has been having an affair for the last year.
I was really shocked at this. It's brought up quite a few issues for us.
I know his friend and his wife. I was really surprised that he's having an affair, I know my husband has mentioned a few times that his friend has had a moan down the pub (they see each other fairly regularly) and we've been out all together and there has been some tension on an occasion. It's a cliche but he doesn't seem the type but then who does. I can imagine that his wife doesn't suspect as I think he meets the OW after work.
So the issues it has brought up is that my dh says he can understand why it's happened (!!!!), this upset me that he said this. Dh says he hasn't talked him out of it (I think he should be as they have dc and I think it's wrong) because it's none of his business. I think he should say something to him. It also worries me that my own dh is so accepting of such behaviour. I was also annoyed that he didn't tell me for a while. It's just secrets all round.
The wife isn't a great friend of mine but we do see each other every so often so this puts me in a difficult situation knowing. It's awful that it's gone on so long and it will be awful if she finds out but at the same time I think it's so unfair to go behind her back. My dh says we can't say anything as it will ruin his friendship and their marriage (and cause a great upset between us).

Potatoface2 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:59:12

'we cant say anything because it will ruin his friendship and their marriage'....the bloke is doing that all by himself....i wouldnt want my husband hanging around with someone who behaves like that....and for your husband to be keeping it a secret for a year and to think its okay for his friend to behave like that is shocking in itself...i would say to him that you are not joining in with the deception!

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