Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Child Maintenance advice please

(21 Posts)
willievertrust Wed 03-Feb-16 13:00:37

We dont go through the CSA as my understanding is that i would be charged and my ex has done a good job convincing me he is paying more that he needs to. I know he does cash in hand jobs but know this can not be proven. i get £380 a month from him for two children. he does not give any extra and only sees the children for approx once a month for 3 hours when he decides he can be bothered.

i just want to make sure the figure is correct. can i request pay slips as he could be lying to me or is the best option to go through CSA?

he currently gives half the mortgage on top of the maintenance to protect his interest however the house is due to be sold soon so that payment will stop.
should my ex still be paying towards my new mortgage until the children are out of full time education?? or does the maintenance cover everything?? it just doesn't seem much considering everything i have to pay out for.

I appreciate any advice as i dont want to do him over but want everything to be fair to the children.

PeppasNanna Wed 03-Feb-16 13:28:26

grin

starry0ne Wed 03-Feb-16 13:38:07

No he doesn't have to pay half your mortgage...

Put in the amount on CSA calculator see if it seems reasonable... I think for someone who does cash in hand jobs be very careful you could well lose out...

You can ask him for payslips...He is unlikely to give you them if lying or just wind him up you are accusing him of lying..

willievertrust Wed 03-Feb-16 14:01:04

Thanks Starry, i realise now that message sounds ridiculous i didnt mean him pay half the mortgage on the new house grin, but wondered if he should still contribute some towards housing the children (im pretty sure the CM is supposed to cover this but wanted to make sure) i feel pretty put out that he hardly wants to see the kids, this is not through lack of encouraging a relationship on my part (ive given up trying now), ive been doing house repairs and getting the house ready to sell all whilst having the children and a full time job whilst hes been playing dad to someone elses child.

starry0ne Wed 03-Feb-16 15:36:48

It is tough... However yes rent/ mortgage comes out of CM..

I gave up on trying eventually...so know the frustration..

abbsismyhero Wed 03-Feb-16 15:58:22

sounds like you're getting a good deal i should stick with it if i were you going through cmo you will lose out as he is not going to declare his side jobs now is he

hellsbellsmelons Wed 03-Feb-16 16:17:14

Have you had any legal advice or advice from CAB?
It really depends on how much he earns.
If he won't agree to pay what he should and you need to go via CSA then your Ex pays the extra, not you.
Why are you selling the house?

smilingeyes79 Wed 03-Feb-16 16:31:46

Sounds like an ok deal .... £380 pm x 12 / 52 = just over £87 pw.
If he works cash in hand if you go through CMS it may come lower and once you do that you rock the boat and may never get him to pay what he pays now

TeapotDictator Wed 03-Feb-16 16:37:50

I don't think the op was asking people to comment on whether it was an "ok deal" hmm - if he's earning £50k a year then £380 a month th is not an "ok deal". It's got nothing to do with what you might think is sufficient smilingeyes.

OP do you have a rough idea of his income? Fiddle around with the CMS calculator to see what you should get based on what you know. It can inflame a situation to ask for payslips but often this is what controlling difficult types bank on - no harm in phoning the CMS to talk through the situation.

goldierocks Wed 03-Feb-16 16:38:46

Hello OP.....are you still married to your ex?

Every situation is different, but as a general guideline a non-resident parent is required to pay maintenance equivalent to 16% of their gross weekly income (that percentage is based on two children....i.e. 16% in total, not for each child).

The percentage can be reduced if the children stay have regular overnight stays with their NRP, or if that parent has other biological children. If he pays into a pension, this will also affect the amount your children by him are entitled to.

Your ex paying £380 per month means his salary was around £2400 a month, does that sound about right? If you ask him to submit payslips and he can prove his salary is less than this, he may well be able to reduce the maintenance.

There is a guide to the Child Maintenance Service available HERE

If you are married and the former martial home is sold as part of your divorce, the resident parent is usually awarded a higher percentage of the equity.

If you are not married, I'd strongly urge you to seek legal advice as soon as possible and definitely before the house is sold.

Good luck.....

Balders74 Wed 03-Feb-16 17:30:24

My STBXH is self employed and his accounts show that he only earns £7000 pa! So the calculation on the CM website shows that he should be giving me £16 pw for both children (not per child). In reality I get nothing.

I live in our former marital home and support myself and the children solely, he provides no financial support at all.

He meanwhile has 2 cars, smokes, rents a house, has an active social life etc. all on his £7k a year. None of it makes sense but no-one seems to care.

When asked in mediation if he was going to pay child maintenance he said he couldn't afford to and it was left at that.

You can request that he attends mediation and as part of the process he will be asked to bring proof of earnings or you could ask him yourself and then calculate via the CM Website whether what he is paying is correct.

nauticant Wed 03-Feb-16 17:32:19

Why are you selling the house?

This is the question that came to my mind. If you're expecting to get some of the proceeds of the house sale OP, I hope you've got things in place to make sure this happens.

abbsismyhero Wed 03-Feb-16 22:13:41

i meant she is getting a good deal because if she goes through cmo she will lose out he is never going to disclose his side jobs if she goes through the legit channels her and the kids will lose out imho and unless she can guarantee that they wont i think she should stick to it if they are amicable perhaps she can put his details in the calculator and ask him for more but im guessing £380 a month for kids he can't be arsed with is not too shabby

vitalite Wed 03-Feb-16 22:23:21

It's certainly a shit load more than I get from my ex who was earning about 100k a year when together. I get 80 quid a month from him cos he's self employed and only declares a minimum "salary". It's amazing what self employed blokes can afford on a small salary hmm in my case it doesn't extend to supporting his only ds tho. Moral of the story - beware of involving Csa when ex earns cash in hand or is self employed - you WILL get screwed!

Namechanger2015 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:24:49

Balders I am in a similar position my ExH is self employed and declares earnings of just £9,000 a year!

He hasn't started cm payments yet but will be paying £128/month for an 8, 6 and 3 year old who he sees once every two months. That doesn't even cover a terms swimming lessons for one child never mind food, clothing, heating etc.

Yet he lives in our marital home (4 bed detached in desirable area), and owns two sports cars!

I've told the CMS but they don't seem interested in the slightest.

How can this be? There must be something that can be done? It's just such an obvious loophole allowing feckless dads to avoid their responsibilities.

Namechanger2015 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:26:32

Vitalite it's utterly shit isn't it? I can't understand how the government allow this to happen? Surely it's more cost effective for them to have rich bastard men paying towards the upkeep of heir own children.

My ex earns around £100,000 per year too. It's disgusting.

Needtoprotect16 Wed 03-Feb-16 22:32:18

Every situation is different, but as a general guideline a non-resident parent is required to pay maintenance equivalent to 16% of their gross weekly income (that percentage is based on two children....i.e. 16% in total, not for each child).

^^ Bloody hell! 16 sodden percent? Is that it? In total? For 2 kids? How on earth would that cover anything? And the NRP has 84% of their salary to spend on themselves?

YazooAddict Thu 04-Feb-16 07:46:20

No. That's 16% of gross income, not net.

Once you've factored in income tax, national insurance etc plus a sizeable mortgage due to an equity split in favour of their ex-wife it looks far more 'fair'.

willievertrust Thu 04-Feb-16 11:07:46

we are divorced and a consent order has been written up, i will get slightly more on sale of the house and have no rights to his pension etc, i also agreed to have the house up for sale as soon as possible in return for him paying all solicitors fees. without wanting to out myself IRL the house is connected to my ex so i feel like i want to move as i feel like he has an insight into my life whilst i live there all the while he gets to live a private life.

i have a boyfriend now and my ex has been very vocal about how much time he spends there whilst his name is still on the mortgage (he has spies who live nearby who would tell him) so i feel very restricted in seeing my boyfriend whilst im living in this house.

I am in no way complaining about how much money i get from him i just dont want him to be underpaying. the figure is correct based on his old wage but he has a new job now so i cannot be sure and i know he does cash in hand. i know i will piss him off if i ask for payslips so i suppose i just hope he is being honest.

i know many RP's have it extremely hard and some get no CM whatsoever but i just want to make sure i get what i'm entitled to for the kids.

it is a ridiculous amount when everything is factored in, luckily my cousin has my children before and after school but i need to arrange childcare in the holidays and he gets off scott free as CM would not cover this.

there is no way he would share holiday care with me either!

Danceintherain2015 Thu 04-Feb-16 11:29:48

Same here vitalite and * name* - my ex also self employed - big house , flash car, trips abroad .
Pays just enough to cover the after school care for my DS when I'm at work !
He knows I won't do anything - when I've suggested it he's told me " if you go to the CMA I'll make sure you get less" 🙄
Beware rocking the boat OP!! Take a good deal for your children - sometimes it's not worth it ! My karma is telling people he pays more for his car than his kids !

willievertrust Thu 04-Feb-16 11:38:25

oh no danceintherain yeah i will be careful not to rock the boat. it should be mandatory to get payslips checked for CM and if the NRP wants to pay more then they can do! wish there was someway to stop cash in hand and self employed from pulling a fast one.
Oh well i will count my lucky stars i get something and i am lucky that i have not had to fight for custody as many parents do! its a shame he doesnt even try to see them more and keep some kind of relationship but i cant do anything about that now and the kids dont seem bothered at all.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now