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Insecurities destroying relationship

(2 Posts)
jenka91 Wed 03-Feb-16 12:00:33

I am 12 weeks into an un-planned pregnancy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and although weve had our ups and downs I know we love each other and I think our relationship is strong. However, when I found out I was pregnant he freaked out a bit and didnt really see me or speak to me for about a month. He admitted he just needed some time and space to sort his head out about the pregnancy. He came to the 12 week scan and since has been spending time with me and we are able to talk more about the pregnancy/baby etc, and we are both getting excited.
The problem now is that I have always had problems with anxiety, and have had some really bad insecurities about myself and my body for as long as I can remember. Now, since I have been pregnant and since he didnt want to be around me for those few weeks, all the insecurities have got much worse. He has always been the kind of person who doesnt tell me every 5 minutes that I look great or that he loves me, he says he shouldnt need to and that I know he feels this way and thats why he's with me an wants to stay together and have this baby. I do know this, but now I keep bringing up things about my body, and even though he says he will still find me sexy and still loves me, I never believe him and end up getting in a complete state and shouting at him for not giving me the answers I want. Its always out of no where, we ca have a great day and just as were abut to go to bed something triggers it and once the thought is there I cant shake it off. Deep down I know that throughout my life no one has ever been able to say the "right" thing, because nothing takes me away from the core feeling of not being good enough. I keep pushing him away by acting this way, and hes starting to worry about the states i get myself into and how it could affect the pregnancy now, not to mention when baby arrives. I dont want this stupid lifelong issue to get between us and ruin what could be the beginning of a loving family. Has anyone else experienced these issues and how can I get through this? sorry if this is way too long =(

hellsbellsmelons Wed 03-Feb-16 12:12:44

Your pregnancy hormones won't be helping with any of this.
If he told you every 5 minutes all the things you want to hear you would feel completely suffocated.

I would suggest you visit your GP and ask for a referral for counselling/therapy.

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