DS is 21 and still lives at home . He does nothing of use at home , ignores requests to stop doing things that cause me issues , owes me hundreds in rent and I always have to chase him , sometimes for weeks to get it . He regularly gets me up at anytime between 0200 and 0400 am as he has lost yet another key , this is on nights when I then have to get up at 0600am .
Monday night or should I say Tuesday morning he was standing at the door as I came downstairs , I let him in and it was obvious he was on drugs , he staggered about for a bit and I made him go to bed , he spent the next hour talking to himself loudly . When I went to get the milk in there were two little plastic bags on the doorstep containing creamy coloured powder , a bit like popping candy in consitency . I have no idea what this could be ?
By the time I got back from work last night he was in the shower and when I got back from collecting my son from nursery he had gone out again . He knew that I was really angry with him so I assumed he had gone out with friends . Cue 2am this morning when I was woken by him banging on the front door , let him in and he was in the same state again . It took me 20 minutes to get him to go to bed as I didn't want to leave him alone downstairs as he has form for leaving doors wide open , the gas on etc . I then couldn't sleep until about 5 and up again at 6 .
He very rarely apologises for any of his misdemeanors , I apparently am unreasonable for even considering charging an adult rent .
Unfortunately my parents see my son as golden boy who can do no wrong and they spend all week , giving him lifts the two miles to his place of work and back .
Kick him the fuck out. His grandparents can have him if they think he's that great. Seriously - what happened? How does a 21 year old get to be so useless and selfish? He's an adult now, you're not obliged to provide him with a home. The popping candy is probably mdma or mephedrone.
Be prepared that when you kick him out (soon) his grandparents will take him in and he will abuse them, or at least abuse their hospitality. You really need to tell them the truth about him, tell them that you plan to tell him to leave, and that they must not take him in.
let his grandparents take him in they will soon change their tune when he takes the piss
i would call the police for banging in the early hours (although not on a busy night) tell them i think someone is trying to get in im scared and alone with children (disclaimer i might not but i would bloody well be tempted)
Hes an adult, he can stand on his own two feet, he could rent a room in a shared house with other young people. If he lives in your house he needs to respect your boundaries, personally i woukd give him a months notice to leave
my parents charged us rent from the day we started earning which i consider fair! So i dont understand why he would say to you its unfair to charge an adult rent?!
I agree with other posters, you need him out and if the grandparents think the sun shines out his arse they can take him in and deal with 2am wake ups. He is not respecting you, your home or the fact you have work and a young child to look after too.
You cant have someone on drugs around a young child, what if he had picked up those packets thinking they were sweets?? Tough love is needed im afraid.
Give him a date, and say that by that date he has to be gone to his own place (or grandparents if they will have him)
I would speak to your parents, I wouldn't pass judgement, but give some facts - he wakes me up every morning at 2 am because he has lost his key, he is coming home regularly high on drugs and has drugs in the house, and so on. Tell them that you have decided he needs to find his own place where he can live as he pleases, then you will both be happier. If they want to take him in, that is up to them, but they need to know that he will do the same to them. That way, you have warned them, but they have the choice.