This last fortnight has been...lets say "enlightening". For both of us!
I know this has been covered very thoroughly by many other posts, but this isn't me complaining about how little my OH does. At the moment, he's doing the lot!
I'm reasonably happily married (18 years) and whilst things aren't perfect, we're doing okay. No kids, just 2 cats. We're both self employed but I work in the house. Working from home, I tended to throw housework chores into gaps in my day - shove a load of washing in here, rootle in the freezer for dinner there, run the hoover round the entire house over the course of the week....nothing "major" I thought, just keeping on top of things. Hubby always does the dishes and cleans the kitchen surfaces, every day. Every so often he loads the washing machine, hangs the clean load out, vacuums, dusts....no regular schedule but enough that he and I both thought he was taking a fair share.....I do all the "planning and stock taking" of things we need, all the shopping, the cooking, the organising and two thirds of the everyday type cleaning (it turns out).
A fortnight ago I had major abdominal surgery and have been more or less useless around the house since then. I'm not allowed to lift anything, bend (except at the knees) and am not allowed to drive, use the vacuum or do any laundry or ironing for at least another 5 weeks. Even cooking is off the cards right now.
Hubby's done a wonderful job, caring for me and doing all the chores. He gets up, puts a load of washing on, goes out to work a physical job (gardener), comes home from work, showers quickly, starts cooking our meal, then washes up and then hangs laundry out on the airers and does any other wee things that need done. It's often 9 to 10pm before he sags into his chair.
I think it's truly surprised both of us that he's exhausted by it. I know how much there is to do, cos I was the one doing it, but I genuinely don't think he realised how much I did when he wasn't about.
It's been a complete eye-opener, for us both. I work from home so these things happened without him seeing it, or me thinking about it, but from now on....things are going to change.
Hi Bill, thanks for the positive post. It is great to hear there are partners out there who step up to the plate, and good to see your op has given your OH the chance to appreciate all the hard work you usually do. Hope your recovery goes well