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(13 Posts)
Pete55 Tue 02-Feb-16 12:28:42

I have recently started to become intimate with a friend I have known for a year. I am quite worried about sex though, because I am a virgin and might not be able to please her or things won't work smoothly enough the first time. I also worry she will leave me if she finds out I am inexperienced and thinks the same, and anyway there is no easy way to bring up the subject out of the blue. I was painfully shy and had zero confidence when younger, and the first girl I kissed was at age 30 (and only after she initiated it)!

I've also had a girlfriend before a few years ago, and we did everything except full sex a few times so I have a small amount of experience. I fell very intimidated by how much experience my friend might have (she has had a 10 year relationship with someone) and don't think I have any chance of being as good as her ex boyfriend in bed.

Is it a bad idea to tell her about my inexperience in the bedroom department?

ImperialBlether Tue 02-Feb-16 12:39:02

How old are you now?

Pete55 Tue 02-Feb-16 12:40:40

I'm 35 now.

Vaginaaa Tue 02-Feb-16 12:42:49

Even if you don't tell her, chances are she will realise during. If you're old enough and mature enough to have sex, you're old enough and mature enough to talk about it.

LurcioAgain Tue 02-Feb-16 12:53:01

Talk to her! I have friends who've found themselves having relationships with virgins who were in their late twenties/thirties, and it's not what you know to start with that matters, it's how willing you are to learn.

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 02-Feb-16 12:58:36

Do men come to these boards to talk about anything other than sex?

ImperialBlether Tue 02-Feb-16 13:00:55

There's a thing, isn't there, darthvader, about the inexperienced man and the experienced woman? It's a popular theme.

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 02-Feb-16 13:02:11

As long as OP doesn't take any tips whatsoever from porn, I'm sure he'll be fine.

thedancingbear Tue 02-Feb-16 13:08:21

As long as OP doesn't take any tips whatsoever from porn, I'm sure he'll be fine.

This is very, very good advice.

Don't worry feller, you'll be fine.

velourvoyageur Tue 02-Feb-16 14:05:13

You'll be totally fine! Really, don't panic. You'll know what to do.
I wouldn't give a toss if someone I was seeing was a virgin. I'm interested in the person & just the fact that it's them makes it special even if they're not the most dextrous.
When I had sex for the first time it was with someone who was also a virgin and except for the pain (which we're told to expect anyway) it was perfect. Specially because we both wanted to make each other feel good and we laughed and tried different things out.
enjoy it!

TheNaze73 Tue 02-Feb-16 15:42:05

I think you should be open & honest about it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I always think you shouldn't have sex if you can't talk about it. Hope all goes well pete55

Pete55 Tue 02-Feb-16 16:38:31

ok thanks everyone, feeling a bit better about the whole thing now! smile

silverfoxofwarwick1952 Tue 02-Feb-16 22:01:29

Isn't there a course or something you can go on these days? Get a vocational training thingy or something. I know there is a lot more help out there than there used to be in my day.

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