Just noticed this weekend, on collection of my two pre-schoolers from their dad's house, that the OW is now sporting a new piece of jewellery... presumably a gift from STBXH. It contains the initials of both her own child, and my two children.
To put into historical perspective... STBXH left me two years ago to be with OW and has recently confessed that they were indeed together for 6-8 months prior to that (although i suspect possiby even longer). So she has been in my children's lives since they were tiny, certainly since the youngest was still considered a baby.
After a turbulent first year of our split, I have worked really hard to try and keep things civil and nice for the sake of the children, and have accepted OWs place in their lives (albeit begrudgingly). I know she is very close to them, and in the logical part of my brain I know that if they sadly can't be with me ALL the time then far better they are with someone who accepts them and loves them as part of her family as much as she does her own child.....
And yet... and yet... there's another part of my brain screaming out that how DARE she walk around with their initials on her jewellery like they are actually her family. It feels like STBXH is gradually writing me out of history and creating this brand new 'family' with her where she has stepped into my shoes. Oh god, it sounds so petty written down....
I'm sure the jewellery would have been bought for her for Christmas (I didn't notice it before today) so it's not even her fault... I doubt she chose it. But I can't work out my feelings over it.... on the one hand I'm pleased she's showing such a loving gesture of acceptance of my kids (my new partner has children too, so I'm aware of the trials and stresses of blended families only too well), but the other part of me feels repulsed that's she's wearing their names round her neck like some sort of claiming ownership move. I don't mind her taking my STBXH off my hands now I've got used to the idea, but ill happily fight her to the death if I feel she's slotting herself into "mummy" roles with them. Gah. Someone talk some sense to me.... what's the right way to view this situation?? Anyone with experience of blended families got anything positive to say about it?
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OW is wearing jewellery with the initials of MY children on it. Freakishly overstepping the mark, or touchingly nice gesture of her love for them?
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BassAce · 31/01/2016 17:48
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