I'm new and naive I think with dating so would appreciate any advice .
Briefly I met exdh at 17 , was pretty much hurdled into marriage which we stayed in for 25 ish years and have been separated approx 3 years now .
Marriage was mostly unhappy .Thats another story .
I've had one relationship since ( fell big time for someone prob totally unsuitable but we are and will always be friends now .... ).
Anyway I feel like I'm in a good place now to just have a few dates .
My DC are my priority but I have a little free time now and feel happier than I ever have I think.
I'm actually excited ... Having never really dated before until now since I was a very immature 16 .
I'm taking to a few men online .
I went on my first date last week and it was ok .
I wouldn't see him again as potential partner material ....
I think I'm worried about hurting or offending when I suppose in the long term it's better to be honest and upfront .
Anyway I was talking to a man who looked and sounded lovely .
He's basically brought his 3 girls up on his own and now has a bit of time for the first time in years to meet someone .
We talked on what's app a bit .... Great sense of humour .
Then he got quite full on after just a few days, saying .... Your the last thing I think about at night and first thing I think about in the morning .
He can't wait to look into my eyes and get to know me .
I could be the next chapter in his life .
I was really looking forward to meeting him until he became so full on .
He's a totally different man to anyone I'd normally go for .... Lives in the country,great cook and bakes amazing cakes !
However I have a feeling he is I love with the idea of being in love ..... I'm in a good place right now and while I don't want to fall in love ( it will be great if it happens ) I want to experience dating for the first time .
I think ( tell me if I'm wrong ) I'm approaching it from a healthier attitude now I'm happy on my own .
As I've never really done this I'd really like to enjoy meeting differrent people, making friends, maybe more ( am a bit old fashioned ) if romance follows but I think he's looking way too deeply into this .
I feel bad because I've ignored his last two messages this weekend to try and get the message across that I don't want to be talking to him all day and evening .
I did suggest he'd never met me and needed to basically back off a bit and he just replied that it was what was on the inside that counted and I was the one for him !
I'm supposed to meeting him for a drink tomorrow evening .
Should I go ?
He s obviously vulnerable and in a selfish way I don't need that now I'm back on my feet .
Thanks
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Relationships
Would really appreciate advice on whether I should go on this OLD ?
Tinkerbellx · 31/01/2016 13:36
I think you're reading it right when you say he's in love with the idea of being in love. Dealing with his issues as a sensitive person (which your OP demonstrates you are) would be time-consuming and unrewarding, IMHO. All the cake in the world couldn't make up for that! 
Seriously, just sack him off.
He sounds like a total crank, he hasn't even met you yet and has already told you that you're the one for him... and he owns a gun. 
He sounds like an insecure loner. He's probably socially very awkward, hence not being able to choose a location for drinks. Although often men like to allow women to choose a location they're comfortable with when its OLD.
The killing you pheasants and making you jam thing - way too intense and inappropriate. You will probably take one look at this bloke and think 'no way' (which is frankly normal and often expected for OLD). Then where will you stand given that he's already cooked and killed for you? And decided you're 'the one'? Will you be running out of the pub loaded with pheasant carcasses and a wedding ring? Will you feel
railroaded into a second date?
I think by meeting this guy you are leaving yourself quite vulnerable.
The red flags are multiplying here. Protect yourself. Find an excuse. And bail. He will definitely find another victim for his prolific fantasising culinary skills
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Vaginaaa is spot on.
Usually, I would say go & see how it ends. But I think the ending will be him trying too hard to show you his 'good' qualities rather than being himself.
I once went on a date with a single dad who has a daughter, and had shared access. Oooh, a daughter, I thought. He must be in tune with females.. When I met him, he was v intense about his daughter. He did not speak of anything else & even started crying when talking about how much he missed her. He hated his ex-wife but it was a v spiteful, vengeful hate that left me uneasy. I declined a further date. Further down the line, he text me out of the blue to say that he'd beaten his daughter's step father up & broke his ribs. This was all in front of his child.
He did it because he loved his child so much, you see? 
Sorry, op, I'm going off on a tangent. Whatever you decide, be careful.
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