Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

just ordered to thank husband for my 'lie in'

(57 Posts)
stillnotjustamummy Sun 31-Jan-16 08:50:30

At 8.30 husband came into bathroom, handed me 4.5 month old, plus older two aged 4 and 2, and barked the words "say thankyou for your long lie in".

I had a really hard night with the baby, eventually getting to bed at 4.30 this morning.

How can I calmly explain that speaking to me in this way is absolutely not on?

JeanSeberg Sun 31-Jan-16 08:52:29

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking to" should do it.

QuietWhenReading Sun 31-Jan-16 08:53:02

Wait until you are less angry and gave a proper discussion about it.

However I must admit that I would be tempted to say "say thank you for your lunch/clean clothes/tidy house/dinner etc etc etc etc"

NeedsAMousekatool Sun 31-Jan-16 08:53:47

Is he usually such a shit?

NightWanderer Sun 31-Jan-16 08:54:31

That's awful sad What a twat!

redgoat Sun 31-Jan-16 08:55:09

That would have lead to an almighty row in my house.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 31-Jan-16 08:55:28

When the children are out of ear shot tell him to stop being a wanker.

Lie in? It's only 8.55.

Pinkvici22 Sun 31-Jan-16 08:57:00

I'd go bloody nuts if DH spoke to me like that! I was furious with him yesterday for not allowing me a lie in when I was hungover very tired.

Lweji Sun 31-Jan-16 08:58:06

I'd be asking him for thank yous for every single thing until he apologises for that.
Or walk out for the day and tell him that's my thank you.
Did you reply that he should be thanking you for not being the one up until 4am?

zen1 Sun 31-Jan-16 08:59:07

Ask him in what respect 4 hrs sleep is a lie-in.

Abbinob Sun 31-Jan-16 08:59:56

Tell him the definition of a lie in isnt supposed to be waking up before 9 with less than 5 hours sleep.
And ask him to say thank you EVERY time you do something for him

SleepyRoo Sun 31-Jan-16 08:59:58

Was it a badly judged ironic joke?

pinkcan Sun 31-Jan-16 09:00:01

Perhaps he struggled with the three of them for 2.5 hrs ? In order that you could rest?

Responses above too harsh. A baby,2yo,4yo - monumental amount of work even etween you both. Why don't you see what happened ?

Baconyum Sun 31-Jan-16 09:00:03

I second lwejis post! Twat! Think a weekend away is in order too. You alone that is.

Abbinob Sun 31-Jan-16 09:00:34

Ask him to say thank you for you having the baby until 4:40am whilst he slept?

99percentchocolate Sun 31-Jan-16 09:00:42

That would get my back up too OP. I'd be tempted to do as Quiet suggested and prompt him to thank me for all the things I do for him. I can be quite passive aggressive though

missybct Sun 31-Jan-16 09:01:20

Oh god, I would find it really hard not to go apocalyptic if DP said that to me. Part of me would want to go down the passive aggressive route and sarcastically bark "say thank you" every time you do something perfectly normal that requires you to put yourself out.

Or you could say "Oh, I'm missing my thanks for the 4:30 feed and pushing a baby out of my vagina whilst you sat and watched" grin.

Jesus, I know far too many men who expect thanks for doing a share of what most people do day in day out with no complaints.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Sun 31-Jan-16 09:01:50

Go back to bed.

When he comes in say, "but you said I was getting a lie in. I've only had 4 hours sleep so far. 7 is about average, so a lie in would be about... Let's say, 9 hours? So I'll see you in 5 hours. And if you ever ask me to thank you for doing the bare basics of parenting that are your responsibility, you can fuck off to the far side of fuck."

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sun 31-Jan-16 09:02:33

Pink? Wtf? Struggled for two and a half hours?

MoominPie22 Sun 31-Jan-16 09:03:23

I´m with Lweji! And how the chuff is 0830 a lie in?? It´s like he was deliberately taking the piss. Why were you up so early if you didn´t get to bed til 0430??

And I wouldn´t be explaining anything ¨calmly¨ either! He needs to understand he´s bang out of order and I´d go flipping apeshit to ram that msg home to him....

missybct Sun 31-Jan-16 09:04:52

Pinkcan - did you miss the part where the OP said she'd been up till 4:30am? Who is to say all the children woke just after baby fell asleep - 2.5 hrs is assuming all kids woke up at 6am.

I'm guessing OP doesn't require thanks every single time she does something of that nature, so I'm not sure why it's acceptable for her DH to DEMAND she thanks him for her "long lie in".

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 31-Jan-16 09:05:09

Was that a typo OP or were you in the bathroom? that's worse.

LastOneDancing Sun 31-Jan-16 09:05:58


You look after your own children because you're a parent, not as a 'favour'.

I forfeited my one werkly official lie in today because DH is full of cold. It's best for our child and best for him. He's done the same for me once or twice

We all have fleeting unreasonable thoughts but to actually say that makes him a massive nobhead. I hope he realises that.

MoominPie22 Sun 31-Jan-16 09:07:35

I think Pink is deliberately being provocative or isn´t a mother! Boo bloody hoo....he ¨struggled for 2.5hrs¨ shock, my heart frigging bleeds! I assume he wanted 3 kids and to undertake the role of a bloody dad. He should sodding well deal with it, be supportive and quit whinging! He´s being a massive twatangry

Abbinob Sun 31-Jan-16 09:08:15

Pink If he struggles with his own 3 kids for 2 hours the who is expected to have the 3 kids the rest of the time confused

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: