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Beside myself with worry - boyfriend disappeared

(165 Posts)
squeebles Sat 30-Jan-16 06:37:34

I am beside myself with worry, this is SO out of character. My bf has now been out of touch since yesterday lunchtime. He is the kindest, sweetest man you could meet, we are really close. One minute we're txting while he's on lunchbreak, next thing - mid txt conversation it all goes silent. Nothing since. He adores me. He's absolutely not the type to mess me around. He works very closely with a collegue we'll call A & A was probably with him at the time he was txting me, they usually have lunch together. The conversation having stopped midway I assumed A needed his attention/ something had come up & he'd get back to me later. We were due to meet last night, although I have a bad cold, he said he'd be gutted if I wasn't well enough to make it. Normally he'd have txt'd me again around 5ish as he left the building, or in exceptional cirumstances by 7pm. We live close-by & I checked his house at 8.30 last night - no one home. I left messages at 10 & 11pm. By this morning still nothing in reply. He would never go on a spontaneous all night bender after work. If his phone had broken he'd have been at home when I called. He has family he's very close with but I don't have their phone numbers nor they mine. Even if something terrible had happened to A or his family/friends he'd have absolutely been in touch by now. He'd NEVER leave me hanging like this. He has no kids. So the only conclusion I can come to is that something's happened to him. If something has happened to him his family couldn't contact me because they don't have my number. Neither of us are on any social media, we're both too old for all that. So it looks like I have two options left, pin a note on his front door for his family to contact me (they're round his house all the time) or wait until Monday & go to his work. I know you'll think I'm nuts panicking after only one evening but even if something terrible terrible had happened, I know he'd let me know and if he'd just broken his phone he would have been at home last night waiting for me. I wouldn't even know where to start with hospitals, I live in a big city & it's chock full of them. Tell me it's all going to be alright.

PotteringAlong Sat 30-Jan-16 06:40:58

A grown adult you don't live with hasn't been in contact for 16 hours? 9 of which were overnight? Something might have happened to him but I think it's a big leap.

NotSoFancyNancy Sat 30-Jan-16 06:44:36

Agree with Pottering. Probably an innocent explanation. Give him time to contact you

Scarydinosaurs Sat 30-Jan-16 06:52:40

Can you ask A?

What happens when you call his phone?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sat 30-Jan-16 06:53:21

How long have you been with him?

Could he have been taken into custody?

squeebles Sat 30-Jan-16 06:58:59

The relationship is rock solid, I have no doubt of that. I can't ask A as I don't have a contact no for them. When I call his phone it goes straight to voicemail. I hadn't thought of custody, but in the middle of a working day? & what for? He's a softie, hardly the type to make a public nuisance of himself.

IpreferToblerone Sat 30-Jan-16 06:59:04

Very appropriate name there mumontherun! OP, hope you hear from him soon.

squeebles Sat 30-Jan-16 07:03:38

In the past when he had a phone problem, he was desperate to contact me to let me know he was ok & used his brothers phone to call me. This time nothing. If he is ok, he'll know I'm worried for him & it'll be his priority to contact me.

Creampastry Sat 30-Jan-16 07:03:48

Why don't you go to his house and see if he is home?

IpreferToblerone Sat 30-Jan-16 07:05:59

If you look at history on your phone/call log can you not see his brothers phone number and call that?

Palomb Sat 30-Jan-16 07:08:30

How can you have a rock solid relationship with someone when you haven't been with long enough to have met his parents or friends and have their contact details?

squeebles Sat 30-Jan-16 07:08:34

Unfortunately I delete my phone history weekly. I have no brothers no. I will go back to his house & check.

squeebles Sat 30-Jan-16 07:09:20

I've met all his family & friends many times but we've never exchanged nos.

TolpuddleFarter Sat 30-Jan-16 07:16:56

I would go and pop round now if you're awake. If it is totally out of character I think it would be the right thing to check.

JustTheOneThanks Sat 30-Jan-16 07:18:08

Will his place of work be open now? Can you give them a call?

Whenwillwe3meetagain Sat 30-Jan-16 07:18:48

Missing the point but why do you delete your phone history weekly?

Veritat Sat 30-Jan-16 07:19:54

You're both too old for social media? I know 70 year olds who use it regularly, how old are you?

louisejxxx Sat 30-Jan-16 07:21:48

Can you not get through to A or your bf's family through some forms of social media?

waitingforsomething Sat 30-Jan-16 07:23:37

Maybe his phone battery died and he went out for the eve? I think you're over worrying he is likely fine - he is an adult

WelshMoth Sat 30-Jan-16 07:25:45

Pin the note on his door, then go home and go about your day as best you can, OP.


kinkytoes Sat 30-Jan-16 07:26:27

Why don't you create a Facebook account now and contact them?

Ringadingdingdong Sat 30-Jan-16 07:27:42

Abducted by aliens?

YouAreMyRain Sat 30-Jan-16 07:30:28

How long have you been together?

rainbowstardrops Sat 30-Jan-16 07:31:35

Why don't you just go round to his house to check and if he's still not there then go to his family???

I think it's a bit odd that you've met his family many times but you don't have contact details.

Very bizarre.

JustABigBearAlan Sat 30-Jan-16 07:32:12

I don't understand why you're getting a hard time here. You arranged to meet, he didn't turn up and you can't contact him. I'd be worried too. You could phone local hospitals, to check he hasn't been admitted? Or does he have any friends whose numbers you know? Or any mutual acquaintances who might have his parents' number.

Hope all's OK, op

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