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8 months pregnant and feel alone

(6 Posts)
Nicjd85 Thu 28-Jan-16 00:36:14

I am literally about to give birth (38 weeks) and have had to move back to my parents. I have no idea where to begin........

My now ex boyfriend had quite a complicated relationship prior to myself (she was leading a double life and was seeing and subsequently got married to someone else/she was abusive both physically and mentally/he was diagnosed with clinical depression as a result)

But unbeknownst to me there had been periods where she was still in contact and even sleeping with my now ex partner. It is like she has this magic hold over him and he couldn't let go. There would be months with no contact and she would drag him back in with manipulation (I understand he is a grown adult and allows this to happen)

She even harassed me and I was forced to go to the police about it. It all went to court and i have a 2 year restraining order against her. Her husband/family/employers have no idea about this 2nd life/criminal reco d(she also has a previous conviction for bank fraud from 9 years ago)......... Lovely lady I'm sure you agree!

My ex partner has started on anti depressants just before we found out we we're pregnant (surprise pregnancy) and had only started counselling before xmas. He was absolutely amazing the 1st few months.

But it has come to light all this on and off contact with his psyco ex . I found emails at new year as he was behaving oddly and asked him to leave. During that week it was like he had lost his head but was saying he still loved me and the baby . But he slept with her and spent the night in a hotel room with her .

Now all mine and his family are aware of the situation. I have left him and ended things and now only have contact via txt.

I am so confused,hurt,angry etc.......... He is begging to prove this is not the real him and the version he was at the beginning is. He says he understands all the hurt he has caused and will continue counselling/ education and will prove his worth .

I am exhausted and devastated and have no idea what to do. Please help!?

SparkleSoiree Thu 28-Jan-16 00:42:32

I am sorry you are in this position, it's very lonely and upsetting.

Having been in a very similar situation to yourself nearly 16yrs ago the best advice I can give you is to focus on getting through your pregnancy, get yourself recovered and begin looking after your baby. I relied upon my parents and closest of friends to get me through the first few months with the pregnancy and recovery/bond building.

Once your baby arrives you may have a different perspective on things.

Nicjd85 Thu 28-Jan-16 01:03:08

Thanks. With everything being so close now that is my immediate plan. There is just so much conflict now between my ex and family/friends (which I totally understand) but it's not helpful for me at the moment. I am dreading labour as my mum said she cannot be in the same room as him and I want them both there.

I have told my ex he needs to fix his life and prove himself as a father. I can't even contemplate thinking past that but my family are totally against him or any involvement etc.

I just feel alone and backed into corners by everyone.

cocochanel21 Thu 28-Jan-16 01:17:56

I had dd1 when I was a teenager and I was on my own. My ex didn't want to know. Luckily I had a great family around me. Believe me once your baby arrives you won't care about anything else.

Hopefully your ex will turn out to be a good dad. Take Care.

magoria Thu 28-Jan-16 06:53:06

If you must take a very long time and let him prove his worth.

I would say at least a year of counselling and sorting himself out whilst proving he can be a good dad while not in a relationship with you.

I can understand why your family don't want a dirty cheat who hurt you around however you need to explain to them that their attitude is not helping you and unfortunately this man no matter how shitty will be your child's father so being amicable is better for everyone eventually.

Personally this man has repeatedly cheated on you. You can try and blame OW however he has chosen to do this even after he has seen the devastation he has caused you. You deserve better.

MrsRedFly Thu 28-Jan-16 09:28:12

Concentrate on having your baby - you don't have to have X in the delivery room if you don't want him there. In fact it might be best for you & baby to have your DM there as she supports you 100%

He has a lot to prove to be a good dad & put baby's interest first

I don't think you could trust him after he cheated on you

Good luck flowers

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