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What signs are there that someone has high self esteem?

(9 Posts)
KittenLoverTheFirst Wed 27-Jan-16 21:24:23

What behaviour from someone signals to you that they have good self esteem?

I wonder if I come across to people as having low self esteem, but have no idea how to raise it.

FatRun Wed 27-Jan-16 21:48:00

Confidence, I suppose.

But then I think I probably present as someone with high self-esteem when those behaviours are symptomatic of what is actually a very low self-esteem...

It's all too complex for us to ever really gauge, I think.

Why do you feel you come across as having low self esteem?

Talcumsoul Wed 27-Jan-16 21:51:00

Hmmm, positive body language maybe. Eye contact, smiling, engaging in social situations.
Personal grooming, not excessive attention to self but a certain panache and being comfortable with their personal style.

arsenaltilidie Wed 27-Jan-16 22:14:27

People don't think about someone else's self esteem when meeting them.
Shy/quiet people can have high self esteem and bubbly people can have low self esteem.
Low self esteem only becomes apparent when you get to know them.
What makes it apparent is when they start to bring themselves down in a non jokey way.

maggiethemagpie Wed 27-Jan-16 22:42:49

Not giving a shit what others think of them (but in a good way). I mean, someone with high self esteem isn't dependent on others opinions as they believe in themselves. And people pick up on that, they really do.

PitPatKitKat Thu 28-Jan-16 03:47:54

Agree with maggie. They don't feel guilty bout stuff that isn't their fault or that they have no real control over. They do feel regret or guilt if they do something wrong though, then they usually and genuinely apologise/make amends.

My DH has high self-esteem and he is like that. He does think about others needs and feelings but he doesn't automatically assume the feelings of everyone else in the world are more important than his.

Just an example, soon after we got engaged, we met a couple we were friendly with for lunch. The man in the couple is someone DH has been friendly with since they were tiny, still friendly but they went different paths after school, not as close as they were kind of thing.

Obviously our news cropped up in conversation. After congratulations friend pipes up with "Ah, so you'll be getting ready to ask me to act as best men then as your oldest friend". DH immediately, calmly and nicely says "Well actually I was going to ask James". Simple, quick, no guilt. (I think the friend jumped the gun a bit, especially as DH wasn't his best man.)

Jan45 Thu 28-Jan-16 16:00:23

A natural confidence and belief in yourself and trusting your own judgement, not looking for others for approval.

Saying that, I can't stand a show off - you know, the folk that are always bragging etc, to me, they appear super confident but clearly are not if they feel the need to try and impress - can't stand those types.

GummyBunting Thu 28-Jan-16 16:08:09

I think not needing to impress or please other people all the time. Not attention seeking.

Just quietly and confidently being themselves, neither hiding it away nor shoving it down your throat.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast Thu 28-Jan-16 16:38:34

Someone whose verbal responses always match their facial expressions (and actually has facial expressions rather than fixed & emotionless) they tend to be honest about themselves, with themselves and with others.
They also praise others freely and without guile - as others success doesn’t impinge on their self view.
They say thank you for compliments graciously and don’t self deprecate, or agree and embellish automatically.

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