What do I need for first meeting with the solicitor?

[MayhemandMadness]

Just that really. What do I need to take?

I've got my marriage certificate, P60's, pension statements for both of us.

do I need DCs birth certs, mortgage statement, electricity and gas bills, broadband etc anything else?

Do I need to get the house valued and take proof of that with me?

I don't even know what to look for in a Solicitor, how do I choose one? What questions do I need to ask?

Its so pathetic reading that back, I dont know what to do so how the effing hell I am going to cope on my own?

[MisForMumNotMaid]

You are coping. Just look at your list. You're getting your head together and asking a sensible question.

In my book, thats coping, thats being very considered and rational.

What are your wories?

What are your priorities?

[MisForMumNotMaid]

One good bit of advise i had is a solicitor is a very expensive counsellor. Use them for your legal questions only. A combination of friends, relatives and mumsnet are good for mouthing off and moaning at.

You need to work out your questions i.e. What type of divorce adultary (can be contentious and may be countered), unreasonable behaviour (you need to come up with I think 7 or 8 reasons but they can be more spurious and less likely to be countered if he wants a divorce to), if he doesn't want a divorce then thats something you ask about.

You can read up on the process of divorce online i.e. Petition and decree nisi and what it all means and when you file.

If money is tight then ask all your questions and file for the divorce yourself just going to your solicitor with questions when they arise.

In my first appointment i got legal change of name documents (you can do this online now too), sorted out basic financial separation and came up with the list of unreasonable behaviours for the petition for divorce.

[MayhemandMadness]

Thanks for the replies. I suppose I need to know about the finances and whether or not I can afford to stay in the house.

I am fully expecting H will stick his head in the sand and pretend its not happening whilst making the atmosphere awful. I am waiting for an appointment with a counsellor - waiting list is 16 weeks though. H is a functional alcoholic who lost his driving license last year for still being over the limit the morning after. I just dont want to go through this living under the same roof as him. My nerves are already shot to pieces.

[Goodbetterbest]

Initially I wrote a timeline of The reasons I wanted to divorce XH. It helped keep me focused and meant I could speak calmly without getting emotional or stressed, and give a full picture.

We did most of our talking through mediation. I think you have to go through at least one mediation meeting. It was helpful up to a point, but we needed a solicitor towards the end.

I prepared a budget - absolutely everything we spent on the home/family/kids/car etc. This became the basis of the financial court order.

Prepare a list of marital assets; house/car/savings

Pension info for both of you.

Mortgage statements.

I choose the second solicitor I met. I felt as though I was in safe hands.

Yes to keeping it factual and succinct with the solicitor. It does cost, but a good one is good value for money.

Best of luck OP.