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A sex one.

(26 Posts)
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 26-Jan-16 20:36:55

Dh and I used to have a very active sex life but we haven't had sex since before Christmas.

What could be wrong

Offred Tue 26-Jan-16 20:39:07

Pretty much anything. You won't know unless you ask.

AnyFucker Tue 26-Jan-16 20:40:59

ask him ?

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 26-Jan-16 21:10:00

I have but no reply

AnyFucker Tue 26-Jan-16 21:20:10

what, like complete silence ?

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 26-Jan-16 21:20:33

What. The. What.

Seriously?

Offred Tue 26-Jan-16 21:21:09

No reply as in literally not replying, a dismissive non-answer or an answer that you don't believe?

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 26-Jan-16 21:25:34

No reply and changing the subject.

I really don't know what is going on.

AnyFucker Tue 26-Jan-16 21:25:42

you have texted/WhatsApped him ?

AnyFucker Tue 26-Jan-16 21:25:57

oh right, face to face ?

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 26-Jan-16 21:28:27

Face to face.

It is worrying me.

Offred Tue 26-Jan-16 21:31:57

I think I'd be worried too.

No reply is highly weird.

I think I'd be getting angry by now and saying very clearly "look, if you just don't feel up for sex right now that is fine but not having had sex for this long is unusual and we are married. You can't just refuse to discuss something like this and leave me to draw my own conclusions, it is not fair"

LetsBeeAvenue18 Tue 26-Jan-16 21:33:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Tue 26-Jan-16 21:36:27

If there was a medical problem it wouldn't bother me, at least I would know.

LetsBeeAvenue18 Tue 26-Jan-16 21:40:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsASecret2013 Tue 26-Jan-16 21:48:38

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BolshierAryaStark Tue 26-Jan-16 22:15:07

Well the obvious answer to your question is, fuck knows, oh & of course your DH...
This is a man you are married to & have regular sex with, well up to Christmas anyway. Time for a grown up conversation where you don't let him avoid the question perhaps?

Frustratedfrankie Tue 26-Jan-16 22:15:38

I sympathise with you op. The last year I have had exactly the same problem started with it becoming twice a month then monthly then sometimes it would be weeks and weeks before we would dtd. My oh wouldn't talk about it much either he made me out to be obsessed with sex and things like putting him under pressure and asking for it made him want to do it less and less. I felt unloved and unattractive and for a while it really got me down and affected our relationship. We had only been together a few years I was like this isn't normal and compared to my friends who have kids etc it seemed like everyone was getting it more than me!
I went through stages where I convinced myself he was having an affair even though there were no other signs. he was working long hours and always tired and I had my suspicions he was depressed or getting that way and after a very tough Xmas period and he's finally admitted he is depressed and at the moment sex is just the last thing on his mind. It sounds bad but it was a relief to hear. I have tried to ease the pressure off and been very much indifferent about it and it does seem to have picked up again slightly
Do you think there's any chance he could be suffering something similar?
Hugs to you though it's not easy sad

SoThatHappened Tue 26-Jan-16 22:24:19

My best has stopped having sex with her husband. She loathes it and doesnt want him touching her. She wont talk to him about it.

She cant. She's sleeping with another man and doesnt want her husband anymore.

Sorry to alarm but it's a possibility.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Wed 27-Jan-16 07:39:58

I know it's not an affair.

I'm going to have a serious conversation with him before the DC come home from school.

flanjabelle Wed 27-Jan-16 07:43:15

Oh dear op, that must be worrying. Is the communication usually a lot better than this? Is he awkward talking about sex usually? It sounds like he is embarrassed. How old is he? I'm wondering if he is having erection troubles and is too embarrassed to say. Maybe he hopes just ignoring it will make it go away. Hope your talk goes well today.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Wed 27-Jan-16 09:38:52

We are only in our 30's.

flanjabelle Wed 27-Jan-16 12:22:39

Just to try and help you prepare for all eventualities, these are the things that came to my mind:

1) erection issues.
2) found a lump on testicle and is panicking.
3) a sexual health symptom has come up (doesn't mean he has cheated, some things lay dormant for years).
4) mental health issue such as depression leading to loss of libido.
5) not feeling happy in the relationship, leading to loss of libido.
6) not happy in another area of his life or being very stressed in general, leading to loss of libido.

All of these things are hard to to talk about. It's hard for a man or woman to admit there is something wrong sexually. I hope that whatever it is you are able to talk about it with him today.

Good luck.

flanjabelle Thu 28-Jan-16 21:12:02

How did it go op? Are you ok?

LetsBeeAvenue18 Fri 29-Jan-16 18:20:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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