I would love some advice on how to make this transition work.
We were together last year for a few months but I wanted more, he didn't and so we stopped seeing each other but kept in touch. He did try and get me to come back lots of times but I knew I wanted more so I stayed away.
He now wants a relationship with me and to give things a go and I would love some advice on how to make it work and if it can?
I feel quite mixed feelings because I am worried he is agreeing to this against his will and don't want to feel like I forced him into it with an ultimatum and also quite worried as I got so accustomed to him being a FWB I don't know how to make the move to being a girlfriend with him.
Sorry but I can't buy into the notion of a man or woman being forced into a relationship. If he's that spineless that his decision to be with you is based on him feeling forced into it I'd be walking in the opposite direction it should be a joint and equal decision to be involved not down to coercion so it that's what he feels, then please rethink the balance of the relationship.
I'm genuinely not having good a go at you but I do think it sounds worrying
Try it and see whether he reverts to old ways or if he has genuinely changed his mind and isn't just wanting sex. Suggest dates and trips out and do things together that you never did before. If he is reluctant or won't you have your answer and ---> run
Similar to you in that I walked away but more than once, the sex was/is out of this world! He told me he wanted a relationship just as I'd made peace with us only ever being FWB. It's still early days for us and it's been bumpy on occasions, the transition has been difficult and we have added complications but despite all that it's good.
The four month break is probably a good chance to start a fresh, our breaks never lasted that long and if I'm honest I think we could have done with a longer one between the FWB ending and relationship starting, what I struggled with the most was remembering that while we had been FWB for a few years, the commited relationship was in its infancy!
My dp and I started out as fwb, at first neither of us wanting more but slowly realising we had real feelings for each other.
We've been together properly for almost 3 years now, are engaged and have a wonderful baby boy.
In your situation I guess I'd go for the slow burn. Yes you've already had a physical relationship but there's no need to dive right back into it. Go out for a few dates, see how it goes. I wish you luck
I did also walk away more than once but it only lasted a couple of weeks each time. The sex was brilliant and I felt almost addicted to him and it took a lot for me to walk away for four months.
He has seen other people in that time, and so have I, and he's been in contact all that time and tried to see me a lot of times but I was strong and refused nicely saying we would only end up where we started.
I had actually also come to the point of letting go and thinking nothing would ever come of it and felt happy / ready to move on so it is a bit scary.
He says he's felt nothing like the attraction we have with anyone else and I haven't either so I hope it's genuine and not a dry spell. Could be though.
Yep, 3 1/2 years into a committed relationship with my FWB. The same thing, he approached me saying he was ready for a relationship so we gave it a go. Definitely second the advice of taking things slowly to begin with though, let it develop naturally.
Yes, Im married to mine. It sounds to me like you have good self esteem and the ability to say 'this is not working for me'. This is excellent, theres no better way of getting respect in a relationship than valuing yourself. With my dh, it kind of happened gradually, we started to spend more time on pillow talk, not just sex, got to know each other better and then started going on dates. It was a slightly strange way to begin a relationship but in my experience better than going on dates and trying to kick start a spark from there. Weve been married nearly 10 years and still have great chemistry.