Hello,
I'm looking for some advice - situation is myself and partner have been together for nearly 3.5 months, she has 2 kids (5 & 6) from a previous relationship and I bring an 11 year old daughter to the mix. We live 70 miles apart, and we are now engaged (since last October)
My partner started a well paid managerial job last May, and I noticed that in order to bring her up to speed, her boss (male, mid forties, working away from home) would organise after work catch ups to bring her up to speed. Over the next 6 months they have developed a close working relationship, until the point in December where he declared his feelings for her. I've had my eye on the situation for a while and my partner has found it difficult to tell me what has been happening, as she sees him as a good friend, swears that nothing has happened and she doesn't find him attractive but does admit that they talked all the time, and often lunched together. After a marketing event in London, my partner stayed at a hotel and her boss stayed also, even though he didn't need to. My partner didn't tell me until some time after the event as she found his behaviour awkward. Later, my partner told me that her boss had started to confide in her about his failing marriage (in November), and that she and her boss did have a connection but she wasn't interested in him 'that way'. We had a big argument about this recently, as the whole picture became clear and unfelt insecure and a little betrayed. She says that because he is married, she never felt the need to be explicit about boundaries but she has now backed off and no longer finds herself alone with him since he declared his feelings. However I am struggling to move on and i feel that she should have put boundaries in place early doors, and told me more at the time about what was going on.
My question is - how do I get back to a position of trust, especially as she swears, and I believe her, that nothing happened anyway. I'm realistic in that we find other people attractive and other people will provide things I can't. This must be such a common scenario so any advice is appreciated!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
The Missus and her Boss
henrynormal · 26/01/2016 16:25
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