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'I love you' fatigue....!?!

(11 Posts)
Threefishys Mon 25-Jan-16 23:48:28

Been with DP around 18 months...very happy , all is good. We've had the odd niggle but we treat each other really well.

Recently the time I've spent with him has been punctuated by him saying I love you (which of course is lovely) but repetitively though - every few moments it feels like - so he's said it so many times in a day that its become a bit like white noise and lost its meaning a bit if that makes sense and I've got a bit bored of saying it back over and over again. I should say I appreciate being told I'm loved I know some people never hear it and would love to - he also behaves lovingly so its backed up with actions. He is not a needy person at all I think it is literally just a habit he's gotten into of repeating this like a stock phrase...well that's how it feels. Am i being an arse secretly wanting him to reign it in a bit and use it more sparingly so it feels 'weightier' as it were?

TheNaze73 Tue 26-Jan-16 00:41:09

You're not being an arse. That would do my head in. I think that expression should be used sparingly as it's clearly lost its value. Call them up on it

LineyReborn Tue 26-Jan-16 00:46:33

Just tell him. Gently but firmly.

That'd do my nut in.

Katarzyna79 Tue 26-Jan-16 00:50:34

this should go in the American tv thread, they say it more than us brits. "i love you honey" muah muah every few minutes ....ok I'm exaggerating a bit but they do say it a damn lot more than us lot lol

I also think it sounds fake if said too much

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 26-Jan-16 00:54:19

What happens if instead of saying it back you just kind of say 'mmmm' and move on?

I couldn't be doing with it either. Anything repeated that often is annoying - a phrase that carries with it the expectation to say the same thing is dire.

hadenough111 Tue 26-Jan-16 01:03:03

He might not be 'needy' (such a pejorative term) but could he be feeling insecure?

SmillasSenseOfSnow Tue 26-Jan-16 02:19:39

Just tell him. I had this at the start of me and DP's relationship. Told him to pack it in a few times and it got far better. Communication is key!

AndTheBandPlayedOn Tue 26-Jan-16 07:27:51

It would be a bit of a red flag for me.

Is he grooming you for a manipulation? Watch out for a request that may will have you cross boundaries and then the attached 'but I love you so much, and you love me so much: why don't you trust me' kind of thing.

(I may be way out in left field with that but the cynicism isn't always wrong wink )

Threefishys Tue 26-Jan-16 08:54:04

No I don't think he's grooming me and as for him being insecure...I'm not sure, it doesn't feel like he is,I don't think he's saying it for me to say it back as such its just become a habit I think (a nice one, but...!!) When my ex dumped me after four years and I said but you said you loved me etc etc his words were "well that's just what you say isn't it?" So I guess I have a bit of fear at the back of my mind that the more DP says it the less weight it carries...obviously trying not to tar them with the same brush though. And as I say, he is incredibly loving as well so its not something he just says whereas ex was saying it and acting the opposite I suppose.

PoppetyPoppet Tue 26-Jan-16 10:34:36

My bf is a bit like this but also very affectionate so will say it a lot whilst cuddling/kissing. I'm probably a little less demonstrative than he is but I'm trying to embrace it because it's nice and it does help to keep the connection going. Anyway, we have talked about it and I realised that he says it to me so much because he enjoys hearing it back. So I made more effort to be the one to say it first, usually when I'm feeling that Rush of love or he's been exceptionally great about something (I often feel it but don't feel the need to say it iyswim?) and this has helped loads.

LaContessaDiPlump Tue 26-Jan-16 10:39:10

My first boyfriend did this - I finally snapped and told him that it was a polyfilla statement that he made whenever he couldn't think of anything else to say.

We eventually broke up because he wouldn't/couldn't stop flirting with every woman he met, so to me it indicates immaturity at best and a complete lack of understanding of commitment at worst.

Or he could just be a nice guy who's got it a bit wrong - hard to know really.

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