Pack his things?

[tessie31082]

Hi all, I'll try to be brief!
My DP (soon to be ex-DP?) and I split for 7 weeks last October (thread on here somewhere)! I took him back after we discussed where I felt the relationship wasn't working etc.
All was quite good until xmas. Last week I discovered he'd spent £165 on online betting since Boxing Day - leaving £14.59 - sky payment still to come out of £40 (since been declined by bank)! He has borrowed £100 from somewhere (advance on wages or his dad or colleague from work) - he told me he had it after I text him to say 'well done for spending all your money'. Now he has arranged to go to golf tomorrow even though we have no money and he's using the borrowed money that will need to be paid back on Thursday when he gets paid.
We have a DS who is nearly 3, we should be doing family things not him going off when there is technically no money. He knows I'm not happy - we've not had a conversation since last Tuesday. He asked me about going to golf, I said he shouldn't, he asked me again on Tuesday and I said 'I can't believe you're still on about going' and then not mentioned since. I've just come to bed and his golf clothes are out so I guess he's still going.
I think if he goes I'm going to pack his stuff into some black bags and dump them at his parents house 3 doors down - aaarrrggghhhh!
What would you do??!!
Thanks for reading such a long post :/
Tessie

[Guiltypleasures001]

I wouldn't waste 3 black bags surely 2 is enough

[LittleLegs25]

What a tosser. I would pack his bags.... Leave them on the doorstep for him to find after his lovely day at golf!

[littleleftie]

Yes I would pack his bags, but, three doors down - eek

[choceclair123]

I think the least you could do is to iron his golfing trousers making sure you burn the f*#% out of them before you neatly fold and place in said bin bag

[smallfry16]

He's a selfish twat. Get your own life. Sorry you have to deal with this.

[AcrossthePond55]

I'm assuming hoping like fuck that you have separate finances? If not, separate them Monday morning, bright and early. You don't need to be liable for any of his stupidity debt.

Bin bags and a very large trebuchet. Hurl them 3 doors down. It'll actually be fun. Seriously, yes, bin him. You made it seven weeks without him and you can make it without him permanently.

[tessie31082]

Hi all, thanks for push I need! Yes separate finances thankfully! 3 doors down wasn't easy last time and his parents are quite clingy! I'm hoping he'll move to the next town and go live with one of his golf buddies who also no longer lives with his kids! How can he be such a fuckwit?! It drives me crazy! To be honest I've already started the housing benefit form (I work p/t but will be going f/t and be self sufficient at Easter once my DS goes to foundation unit)!
I'll need hand holding later I'm sure as my mum is abroad until tomorrow and my dad (they're divorced) is away with my brother today (a joint xmas present from me)!
guiltypleasure - you made me choke on my tea!
Tessie

[tessie31082]

choceclair - I wished I'd thought of that on my day off on Wednesday 😜

[Guiltypleasures001]

I think tampering with the teeth on any zips on the flys is also acceptable, but I'm a cow like that

[tessie31082]

Well he's gone to golf at 8.30am this morning. His things were packed and outside by 9.30am. Message sent letting him know at 11am. Nothing back - yet. Just had a missed call from my friend (her DP also plays golf with my ex-DP) - left it to go to answerphone then messaged her to say I couldn't talk. I think she's ringing because ex-DP is at theirs?!

[RealityCheque]

Who's house is it?

[TwoTonTessie]

Good for you. Just make sure that he doesn't try to talk you round.

[DraenorQueen]

What a dick he is! I can't bear people who think they can just completely abdicate their financial responsibilities and some poor sod will just pick up the pieces. Pathetic! Glad you're not putting up with his nonsense.

[cece]

Well done. Have you dropped his things at his mother's?

[tessie31082]

He's back, at the door, asking why I am doing this! Text him to say I was fed up of the crap - gambling, spending money we haven't got, lying! Nothing back yet. Bags outside the house (it's housing association so no mortgage thankfully)!

[tessie31082]

I need some hand holding and a big pack of tissues!

[pocketsaviour]

You have done the right thing. Don't let this irresponsible fuckwit grind you down, and don't let him sweet talk you. You already gave him his last chance last year!

[DragonsCanHop]

He hasn't even managed a full 3 months before showing his true colours again has he?

Stay strong, don't let him walk all over you.

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Assuming you aren't married - is his name on the tenancy?

[tessie31082]

Not married luckily! Joint tenancy but it can be changed looked into that last time before he moved back in. Just feeling guilty because of DS! I feel stronger than I did last year and yes basically 2/3 months before it started again - leopard and spots come to mind :(

[cece]

Tell him to go to his mothers. He's had his chance and he's blown it.

[Leelu6]

Well done, he's out. Onwards and upwards!

[Borninthe60s]

I remember your previous post. You have him a second chance. You and your child are obviously not his priority he's made that clear. Keep the door locked. You deserve better X

[tessie31082]

Thanks all for your support x it's not easy rubylovesshoes. I now have an added worry of when DS goes to see him as he is not very patient and I'm worried about smacking (a big no no and ex-DP knows how I feel) / discipline - ex-DP is always over the top even if DS has not done something wrong but has done something a normal 3 YO would do - instead of explaining threatens to send him to bed / no dinner. I'm always saying 'no DS that won't happen, daddy is being silly' etc. I saw him push him once into the sofa - he didn't realise I could see through the door and we had a major row! Am I mad to think of this, literally shaking and fearful of DS being in his care even for a few hours!