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I want to believe him

(191 Posts)
icklekid Sat 23-Jan-16 05:22:47

So yesterday eve I got a very odd text from dh

"Hi babe what flat do I need to buzz? X"

I rang dh immediately and said I was confused about the text he just sent he said he hadn't sent a text and was driving home not far away. I said fine and he said is everything OK? I just told him would talk about it when he got back.

I have 18 month ds and am very early stages of second pregnancy. At the moment I'm struggling to keep any food down and crippled by exhaustion so 2 days of looking after ds (work part time) have been very tough. Anyway I bath ds and get him ready for bed. Dh comes home doesn't say anything about it and puts ds to bed.

I go downstairs and wait for dh -when he comes in I show him the text and say that I don't understand. He says I can see how that would upset you but I promise it wasn't me who sent it. I'm in tears saying that I don't understand how it can't be him!! He has been late back from work every night this week but work is also hell for him at the moment and he's commuting long distances.

Help I don't want to believe he's cheating and he says he would never risk what we have but what other option is there?

janaus Sat 23-Jan-16 05:34:42

Don't want to read and run.
It sure is a puzzle. I can't see how a text shows it as being from his phone, but it's not?
Is that his 'style' of text, using "babe" ?
I would also want to believe him. Maybe just sit and wait, keep an eye on things more carefully. Suggest you take a note, or copy the text.

(I had to wait it out for a few weeks, took notes, before an admission)

I truly hope you have nothing to worry about.
Relax, don't show stress. If there is a problem, maybe being casual about it, there might be some slip up. But hopefully, somehow it's a huge mistake.
Wishing you all the best.

icklekid Sat 23-Jan-16 05:36:43

Thanks he used to say babe when we were first dating but it annoyed me so doesn't anymore. ..however does make me believe it could be him!

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Sat 23-Jan-16 06:23:16

Is that text in his sent texts on his phone? Is it showing on his phone bill?

Borninthe60s Sat 23-Jan-16 06:27:51

He's a liar....and a cheat.

Leigh1980 Sat 23-Jan-16 06:29:56

It's definitely him ☹. The phone, however smart it is, cannot text another without instruction. I'd go to his work before he finishes and follow him to see where he goes. 💐💐. It's awful when things like this happen x

CreepingDogFart Sat 23-Jan-16 06:31:10

There is no way that a text would send from his phone to yours without him sending it. Even if mobile phone networks did randomly mix things up, what are the chances of all the millions of people on one network...and his number texts yours.
He is definitely a liar and a cheat. Also him having to buzz a flat makes me wonder if he's paying someone.

ProjectPerfect Sat 23-Jan-16 06:33:44

He's a liar and a cheat. If it's a text (and not iMessage/whatsapp etc then look at an itemized bill. I suspect it will be illuminating.

maybebabybee Sat 23-Jan-16 06:36:05

Sorry but he's definitely lying, there's no way a phone would just invent a text and send it flowers

But weird that he sent the text but was then driving home, what's that about? Unless he panicked when he realised it had gone to you.

torontonian Sat 23-Jan-16 06:41:38

I'm sorry OP, that message must have been really distressing, to add to the pregnancy and exhaustion.
I want to say though, that an application or virus can send messages to your contacts. So it is possible that it was not him.
Obviously the text will appear in your phone bill because it was sent, but again, don't condemn him just yet. It is awkward, to day the least, specially because viruses and automessages usually contain a link for you to click and propagate (that's the full goal of sending the message) and this text doesn't sound like it.
Now, when you called and he said he was driving home, did he arrive soon? If he was headed to visit someone else and needed to change the route to rush home, you also have an idea of the radius where this person would live.
And the best place to look for is the phone bill. If he was sending a message to another woman calling her babe, there must be lots more before, so check the phone bill, specially the same day the message was sent (they would have arranged to meet...)

CreepingDogFart Sat 23-Jan-16 06:43:02

Him saying he would "never risk what we have" to me sounds like he would cheat if he could get away with it. It's not the same as saying, "I love YOU and no one else".

CreepingDogFart Sat 23-Jan-16 06:44:39

Look on the location on his iPhone (if he has one). I don't know how you do it but it's been suggested on here before by more tech-savvy posters. I'm sure someone helpful will be along to explain how to do it. I think it will tell you where he's been?

fastingmum123 Sat 23-Jan-16 06:46:10

Unless it's one of those "I'm busy call you back" preset messages I can't see how hid phone would send it. I've accidently sent those in my pocket.

Fugghetaboutit Sat 23-Jan-16 06:46:20

Was he back earlier than usual tonight compared to other nights? Because he would have been heading elsewhere (escorts/ow house?) but got caught so came straight home.
Does he have a sat nav in the car or on his Map App on his phone? Check history

fastingmum123 Sat 23-Jan-16 06:46:28

His not hid

torontonian Sat 23-Jan-16 06:46:38

Definitely the phone bill will tell you. Just wanted to repeat that it is possible that he did not send the message and that I hope it was the case.

But weird that he sent the text but was then driving home, what's that about? Unless he panicked when he realised it had gone to you.

This is what makes me think that he could be telling the truth.

janaus Sat 23-Jan-16 06:49:23

P.S. My suspicions were aroused and gut instinct kicked in, July last year. Asked him, and of course I got .. How could there be anyone else, I don't know how you could think that. You're the only one. Long time married .. Admission finally came in September.

maybebabybee Sat 23-Jan-16 06:53:47

I have some experiences with viruses that send texts and 1) they're not really around any more and (2) that text is not the kind of text that would be sent, they're quite obvious IYSWIM.

I'm sorry but the most logical explanation here is he sent that text to the wrong person (you), panicked, and is now trying to bullshit his way out of it.

I expect he was driving home straight after because he realised he'd sent you the text and would have been very suspicious for him to then say he was working late or out with friends.

BikeRunSki Sat 23-Jan-16 07:04:20

Could his phone number have been cloned? Happened to me a couple of years ago. I've had my phone number for decades on a contract phone. Orange allocated it to a new PAYG phone too. I don't understand why it makes a difference whether it's contract or PAYG, but it does.

CreepingDogFart Sat 23-Jan-16 07:06:27

OK I looked up how to find frequent locations myself on an iPhone:
1. Settings
2. Privacy
3.Location Services
4. System Services
5. Frequent Locations
6. History

Mine shows me my work and a couple of other places I go to weekly.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 23-Jan-16 07:06:50

Sorry but he sent it. Whether he's cheating or not remains to be seen but he's not being honest with you.

BikeRunSki Sat 23-Jan-16 07:06:56

Posted too soon....

Anyway, for a few weeks I got phone calls and texts meant for someone else (they never got my for me though). Orange sorted it out in the end, but it took them weeks to work out what was going on.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 23-Jan-16 07:07:39

If the number was cloned how would the other recipient have ended up texting the wife of the first person to have the number? No chance

PennyHasNoSurname Sat 23-Jan-16 07:11:10

Yeah, he sent it.

You need to do some more digging.

Knitmyshickers10 Sat 23-Jan-16 07:11:12

Sorry, I think he's up to no good too.

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