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Jealous of ex husband's female friend

(3 Posts)
Babs2016 Sat 23-Jan-16 01:13:54

Hi, I'm just looking for opinions on my situation as I have nobody to talk to and I'm confused as to whether I'm being unreasonable or well within my rights to feel the way that I do.

Ok, so Aug 2013, I moved to a new area, nearer to my in-laws. I found the move incredibly difficult and became depressed. I became pregnant, which unfortunately ended in a miscarriage in Dec. Jan 2014, I became pregnant again, and was still very unhappy where I was. My son's father (husband at the time) had been busy with work, so was always out. His job is varied, so he meets new people all the time. He was distant and not happy about the pregnancy, and I discovered he secretly meeting this other woman he had met on one of his jobs. There were confrontations etc, then a month later he told me the marriage was over. He told me he had felt this a long time, and this other woman had shed a light on our shit marriage. He spent time with her frequently and would constantly compare us. We split, but worked through the birth of our daughter. I obviously was deeply upset, I mean bloody hell I was pregnant. The biggest issue is this other woman. He swears that they haven't slept together, she is married and has a son who is similar age to my daughter. But they still see other all the time and it drives me crazy. He tells me that they have a special relationship, that she has given him this confidence, she understands him. Stuff, he tells me, I never did. 6 months ago he moved back in as I was struggling with the kids, we sleep separately etc, so are not together. Am I being possessive?? I find myself hating this other woman and constantly compare myself to her. I'm still very depressed and incredibly insecure. Is it understandable that I feel like this? Why can't I let it go???

Babs2016 Sat 23-Jan-16 01:19:53

Also, he was attentive to her during her pregnancy and when her son was born, giving her support and advice. All I got was his irritation and impatience. This is something I will never forget or forgive. He should have been there when I needed him the most and he wasn't.

AcrossthePond55 Sat 23-Jan-16 02:53:52

I think you know the answer. He's (at the very least) emotionally involved with this woman much more than he is with you.

I honestly think the best thing you could do would be to seek counseling for yourself to come to terms with the end of your marriage and to ask him to leave. You aren't doing yourself any good by having him around, even on a platonic basis. You need to move on and you won't be able to with him there.

How many children do you have? If he's only there to 'help out with the children', maybe there would be other ways for you to have help for them.

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