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Just dump and move on; start dating other people

(34 Posts)
ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 22-Jan-16 06:54:16

After reading another thread where the advice is, quite reasonably, to dump someone and move on/date other men, I wonder if it really is that easy for some people.

I mean, I work full time, my work brings me into contact with lots of people, but (excluding a number of married man along the way), no one I've met through work has shown any interest. I have hobbies and interests, and a mixed sex friendship group, but that's never presented any possibilities either.

I'm not really interested in dating, so not bothered really, just wondering whether some people really do just get inundated with offers/have loads of choice/options.

I haven't been able to dump someone on Friday and be dating someone else on Monday since I was 20!

Imbroglio Fri 22-Jan-16 08:14:53

I agree. Its so much tougher when you have family commitments, and none of your friends are single or able to introduce you to people. And you need a thick skin to go internet dating.

Threefishys Fri 22-Jan-16 14:40:29

That's what dating apps are for grin

SoThatHappened Fri 22-Jan-16 16:46:42

I know a guy who does. No children or anything though.

I had this happen to me lately with him. The guy dumped me for someone else after lying to me, etc. He has never been faithful as far as I can see. He never leaves a relationship unless he has something else lined up and if he gets dumped he just goes straight out and sleeps around with whatever he can get.

He just moves straight on. I didnt know this about him for a long time. I had to piece it together over time.

TheNaze73 Fri 22-Jan-16 16:54:04

I think with 3 billion members of the opposite sex available, it's a case of fishing in the right pools. I think the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone as long as you lead no one on, there's no harm

LionHearty Fri 22-Jan-16 17:33:19

In theory, just dump and move on, sounds like a good plan. But as people mature (age) it becomes less easy to move on.Painful breakups, not finding someone suitable etc would affect how quickly a person is able to date other people.

LionHearty Fri 22-Jan-16 17:36:53

I'd love to be in the position of having lots of options but am in a similar situation to Folk.

MoreGilmoreGirls Fri 22-Jan-16 17:40:54

It's not easy out there, I dud online dating for a while and the creeps and weirdos nearly put me right off but eventually I found my DH. Just cos it's not easy does not mean you should stay in a rubbish relationship though. Being single can be great.

AnyFucker Fri 22-Jan-16 17:42:10

Or just dump someone who is not up to scratch. Be happy with your own worth that doesn't require the validation of a man ?

SoThatHappened Fri 22-Jan-16 17:50:54

Perhaps they dont need validation and want to be with someone.

AnyFucker Fri 22-Jan-16 17:57:19

It's an option, not a rule.

expatinscotland Fri 22-Jan-16 17:59:21

What AnyFucker said.

SoThatHappened Fri 22-Jan-16 18:06:05

One of the guys I dated said he didnt like being single....dumped out of a 4 year relationship and straight back to dating. I wonder what his motivation as for that. Why cant he be alone.

I am the other way. I have been single for so long, now I want to be with someone. I dont need it. I would like it.

AnyFucker Fri 22-Jan-16 18:38:30

I hope you find what you would like, STH.

Sweetandsour93 Fri 22-Jan-16 18:45:25

For some people it is much easier to move on quickly than it is for others. I recently broke up with someone (been on and off but definitely over for good now!) and I couldn't imagine dating for quite some time. It's nice to have my own space back and to be free of relationship stress. I think you've got to be in the right frame of mind for dating, I have never tried OLD, although I might do when I feel ready to, it seems like a minefield.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 22-Jan-16 20:46:47

Hmm... see I previously thought I was happy being single, but secretly I was always 'aware'. Aware of how I presented myself (I don't mean appearance, I mean more my body language and demeanour), aware of other people/men around me. I made eye contact, I was friendly and bubbly... it made no difference.

Then last year, I ended a very short relationship and now I no longer 'notice' men. I don't look for signs that a man I'm talking to is single or interested and do you know what?

Well firstly, I've realised that I am genuinely happy being single. There is a man I rather like, but if he declared an interest now it would be a disaster, I really want to be single for at least another 6months or so.

But secondly, it's made no difference. I didn't meet or get asked out by men before and I don't now.

I did do OD for a while, I wouldn't again.

I really was just curious as to whether some people really do just find that there is someone else just around the corner.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Fri 22-Jan-16 21:13:48

And as for the people who do, where are they meeting them?! I've never really been someone who just got asked out. Do some people find they are inundated with date requests?

AnyFucker Fri 22-Jan-16 21:15:07

I think only on Jeremy Kyle are people going from one relationship to another within days

Not something to aspire to smile

SoThatHappened Fri 22-Jan-16 21:25:44

ive realised that people who go from one relationship to another so quick is because they hedge their bets and overlap.

It isnt in a matter of days....you just didnt know they were seeing someone else for ages before.

AnyFucker Fri 22-Jan-16 21:27:36

I am replying to Folk's questions directly, STH.

Vaginaaa Fri 22-Jan-16 21:39:57

Yes, some people don't have standards so are happy to accept the next thing that trundles along. You'd have probably met someone ASAP if you'd accept anything vaguely human shaped and scooped them up from anywhere like the bookies or somewhere else Jeremy Kyle types hang out.

Threefishys Fri 22-Jan-16 23:22:24

Or some people just enjoy variety and meeting new people by way serial dating (which is fine)

Vaginaaa Fri 22-Jan-16 23:29:51

There's enjoying variety and meeting new people and then there's scraping the barrel so you're never alone.

charleneralston26 Fri 22-Jan-16 23:43:54

I know I can't I got dumped 3 weeks ago (34 weeks pregnant now) and the thought of another man doesn't appeal to me! where as the dad of my 2 children is already staying at his new gf!!

LionHearty Fri 22-Jan-16 23:50:04

I think the dumper is prepared for the relationship ending so the won't feel the shock, disbelief and loss quite so keenly, if at all. So can move on relatively easily.

Charlene flowers 💐

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