BF struggling with his daughter

[Robotgirl]

Hi all
My BF is pretty upset at the moment & am trying to support him. Have had great advice on here before so hope it's ok to try & get some advice for him.
Have been with my BF for 2 years.
I have a DD age 3 & he has a DD age 7 who he has EOW.
He has NC with his ex apart from a book they communicate with & their DD sees that they don't communicate verbally during pick up/drop off. BF wants to communicate over their DD face to face but his ex won't. She has ignored requests for mediation.
She and his DD live 50 miles away so he only sees her EOW.
His DD's behaviour has been getting more & more explosive over the last few months with very frequent tantrums, angry outbursts, telling BF she doesn't love him, very demanding, ignoring basic requests to tidy up etc.
BF admits to not enforcing strong & clear boundaries & I have seen examples of this with DD seemingly in control & BF walking on eggshells. BF scared to tell his DD off as DD had enormous meltdowns & shouts that she wants her mummy & wants to go home saying 'all BF does is tell her off!!'
I have talked with BF about his thoughts on stricter boundaries as well as more bonding time alone with his DD where they can talk & a reward chart... Just suggestions to try & help.
It seems that DD is seeing negative communication between her parents & possibly playing them off against one another? I don't know.
Like I said, BF feeling very down & I know this is his & his ex & daughter's business & not mine but wondering if anyone can offer help or has had similar experiences because he's at his wits end!

[goddessofsmallthings]

What does his dd do that she needs to be 'told off' for?

Imo this book should be compulsory reading for every parent: <a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1848123094?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1848123094?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
'

[Robotgirl]

Thanks Goddess- that book looks great.