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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I feel so confused, I just can't take anymore abuse, I dont know how to get out.

(20 Posts)
littlehelphere Thu 21-Jan-16 13:06:05

I'm really really stuck in an abusive relationship, he has convinced my friends and family i'm going crazy and so I have no-one to turn to anymore. He's so charming, they don't believe what he puts me through. How can I get out? would like to hear from anyone who has been through this.

sleeplessinmybedroom Thu 21-Jan-16 13:08:20

You need to call woman's aid. They can help you to escape. 0808 2000 247

Finola1step Thu 21-Jan-16 13:09:30

Call Women's Aid.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Thu 21-Jan-16 13:11:15

Please call women's aid. They will help you. You need to get out flowers

DespicableBee Thu 21-Jan-16 13:13:16

It doesn't matter that your family and friends think your crazy, you can still leave

littlehelphere Thu 21-Jan-16 13:16:19

No, you don't understand, I don't live with him, I have my own home. I don't need to run away, he doesn't hit me. He messes with my head and threatens me, suffocates me, he comes here looks through my windows and sees every move I make. He takes photos of me. Im not doing anything wrong but its just such an invasion of privacy.

stumblymonkey Thu 21-Jan-16 13:21:03

Break off the relationship....if you live alone what is stopping you from ending the relationship?

You can report this to the police as emotional abuse and harassment.

Start to take notes with dates, times and exactly what happens...what is said, etc. Keep anything that can corroborate what you are saying...texts/emails/etc.

What matters most at this point is ending the relationship and reporting this behaviour if it continues once the relationship has ended.
It doesn't really matter if friends and family believe you does it?

Oswin Thu 21-Jan-16 13:22:15

Does he have a key? If so change the locks.
If he turns up call the police straight away.
Then get a restraining order.
You can be free of him.

littlehelphere Thu 21-Jan-16 13:24:52

If no one believes me then how can I have support? Im lost. Im only posting on here now because I threw him out. He doesn't let me on the internet, he doesn't let me even go to the shop.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Thu 21-Jan-16 13:26:31

You need the police to support you with the harassment.

You can get support by just saying "it wasn't working out". If things carry on and he harrasses you, you can then tell them he won't leave you alone.

diggerdigsdogs Thu 21-Jan-16 13:26:44

Call the police.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Thu 21-Jan-16 13:27:02

You won't need as much support once you've left him and he's out of your head.

WhereToSheNow Thu 21-Jan-16 13:32:43

Do you mean he doesn't let you go on the internet/to the shop when he's with you, or all of the time?

Finola1step Thu 21-Jan-16 13:38:11

Report him to the police for harassment.

Jw35 Thu 21-Jan-16 13:42:19

I don't understand how he's stopping you do things but doesn't live with you? You need a restraining order

QuiteLikely5 Thu 21-Jan-16 13:44:39

You really need to call 101.

Explain you are not certain if his actions are a crime but that you feel quite threatened. Then open up to the call handler.

This man sounds dangerous.

TheHobbitMum Thu 21-Jan-16 13:49:22

You need to call the police on 101 and get advice this man sounds worryingly dangerous. You can be free of him x

stumblymonkey Thu 21-Jan-16 14:00:04

Just tell friends and family it didn't work out...get support from here, find some local support groups of people who've been through the same thing, get a counsellor through your GP or Relate.

Definite first steps are to get him out of your life though. Change locks. Change your number. Let the police know. Write down anything that happens so that you can use this as evidence for restraining order if it's needed in the future.

Threefishys Thu 21-Jan-16 14:51:45

You're on the internet now though aren't you. , so that means you can access resources to deal with this.

Shutthatdoor Thu 21-Jan-16 14:56:03

You're on the internet now though aren't you. , so that means you can access resources to deal with this.

^ this

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