I've name changed as its highly likely my friend is on here. I will try to make it not to identifiable but I still need to give a good amount of background.
My friend and I are friends since reception. All through primary, most of secondary. We went to close unis and generally always kept in touch, even if there were months where we didn't talk we could pick up where we were and we used to really enjoy catching up.
In our 20s, I'd say our friendship waned a bit. We still met up 2 or 3 times a year, but our lives went in very different directions, literally as we both moved abroad. When we met up, it was always delightful. I'd meet her new boyfriend, she might meet mine, we'd find out all the good things and tricky things going on and generally come away thinking we should do it more often.
I'd say I needed her more than she needed me as a friend. But I'm not sure really. She is very different to me. She's an artist, I work in a office job.
The last couple of times we met, I felt it was me doing the running.
I have a child, she doesn't and I try not to let it impact on our arrangement and I rarely bring said child up in conversations with her. But the last couple of times. I had to do all the running and meet her where suited her, not me.
She didn't really seem willing to go out of her way to meet me, but I could meet her where she would be driving by anyway, at the time she would be passing. Not really trying to compromise. It wasn't very like her. She had a new boyfriend with her so maybe it was his influence, I don't know. I also know that being an artist, she might be stuck for petrol money, so maybe that part of it.
Anyway, I've since moved back to my childhood village. Her parents still live here. She visited them over Christmas and she has known that we are also back here. I texted the obligatory Merry Christmas, telling her my new address and saying we should meet up if she has some time. You can guess, it never happened, so it looks like our friendship has hit the wall, which I'm ok with.
Even reading this back, I know you are going to say, shes just not into you anymore. And I completely agree and need to get over it and move on.
But, she is getting married soon and I am invited. I feel that I am invited out of obligation. I don't want to go. Especially as she couldn't even bother meeting me when she visited her town and I live about 2 minutes from her parents. How do I say this to her and explain why. I feel she should know as she seems oblivious. Its sad to see the end of the friendship but I really don't think its worth trying to save. Can I word it in a non-bitter, non-confrontational way?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Longtime friendship is pretty much gone - what to say?
CousCousDefinitely · 19/01/2016 10:10
I don't think not visiting you means the end of the friendship at all 
Maybe she was hungover & didn't feel like it (had that one a few times from childless friends!)
Go to the wedding, you're her oldest friends, it doesn't matter if you're not bosom buddies now. I have friends I see once a year if that, they're still important.
Thanks, yes you all seem to have the same opinion. Maybe you are all right
Will go and try to leave my bitterness at the door.
Old friends do seem to valuable to lose. Maybe it just needs to be put on ice until we've something we can both relate to.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.