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how could I have done this better?

(2 Posts)
HowBadIsThisPlease Sun 17-Jan-16 23:09:01

I asked DP a few days ago "will you help me get the old car ready for sale?"
He said "what do you mean?"
I said "empty the interior, hoover it, clean it, clean the outside, you know."
he said "when?'
I said: "this weekend? sometime? anytime?"

I did it on my own. I was just feeling really dismal about it when the dds ran out and said "can we help you?" They are 6 and 4 so it's not like they took a lot of work off me but it made a big difference to my mood to have them with me. We did everything in that car together and I didn't want to be on my own cleaning up to say goodbye to it. I was the only one who never left a mess in the car and I didn't like being the only who was cleaning it up. (dp doesn't drive and leaves wrappers etc in there all the time. Also, general family mess, he has never cleaned it up, or offered to.)

I was happy to have the dcs with me, but I still feel bitter. He told me off for saying "my car" (not ours) about the new car. Other times, when work needs to be done, he says "well it is your car.'. I drive, he doesn't. So, I do the MOT, the insurance, the tax, eveything. I work full time, and when it needs to go to the garage, I make time to do this. I always do this. I threatened once "We aren't going on holiday again until you've learnt to drive or learnt to breastfeed." I didn't follow through. He just expects me to drive and do everything to do with the car.

And yet bitch when I say, about the new one, "that's my new car!" (I was told off about this later)

WIBU to say "when you get off your arse and do something to do with a car it's your car too?"

I am sick of having so much responsibility and a guy who thinks "I have to watch the football this weekend" is a mission statement and ... what did I do wrong? how did I end up here, and what can I do?

saltlakecity Sun 17-Jan-16 23:40:22

I think this is about more than a car. You used the word responsibility. Personally I don't see my car as a responsibility. I clean it out myself, maintain it myself and pay for it myself.
I can understand it's annoying to ferry someone around who seems unwilling to learn to drive but I think you're making too big a deal out of a simple thing like a car.
Seems you are more annoyed at an unequal workload. That's the thing to get sorted.

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