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Heroin addict brother

(10 Posts)
Nannaboppa Sat 16-Jan-16 19:09:47

Sorry if Im posting this in the wrong place just wasn't sure where to ask for advice.
My 47 yr old brother was doing well, working, owned a few properties then he started taking heroin & lost everything. He's now back home living with me & my mum after coming off heroin & going onto morphine.
He sits in his bedroom all day listening to music, he smoke that horrible legal high, he's on 'sick pay' off the government due to depression & though my mum says he gives her money when he can I don't believe her, he already owes her over £1200. The thing is we were all brought up to work & were never allowed to live rent free EVER.
I've never got on with my brother he's always been a selfish inconsiderate idiot.
He's quite often stoned & last week fell asleep with a cig in his hand! I can leave, my poor mum can't I've never seen her cry so much, I've told her to ask him to leave until he sorts himself out, but really, can you ever kick your 'child' out?!
I'm now looking for my own place which upsets my mum as I've done a lot to her house & made my own little bedsit which cost me £1000's but I really can't stand living with him much longer. He's quite frankly a complete mess!! Gosh what to do?! My poor mum!

Parsley1234 Sat 16-Jan-16 19:23:29

Really tough my sons dad got an advance from record company at 19 left prestigious RG uni and recorded toured and took a lot of drugs he then went through 13 rehabs until on the 13th one he relapsed and went home but this time there was no room at the inn. His close Asian family and extended family closed doors to him and he got clean 15 years last Boxing Day. So your mum get her to Alanon or coda for support and work out how to distance herself emotionally from him - really hard but it's the only way

gamerchick Sat 16-Jan-16 19:25:30

She does need to kick him out. While he's comfortable he'll never hit rock bottom to get any incentive to straighten out.

All you can do is leave yourself unfortunately and be there when your mother has had enough.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 16-Jan-16 19:32:30

I suspect he's being prescribed methadone, not morphine! Which is as addictive as heroin, I've heard.

Perhaps your leaving home with provide the spur for your mother to get him out.

You didn't do this and you can't fix it, so you must look out for yourself.

ValiumQueen Sat 16-Jan-16 19:40:15

I would contact his prescribing service and ask for advice. They should be able to signpost you to services that can support you and your Mother. I would also tell them he is using NPS (the 'proper' name for Legal Highs) as it is important they know.

I would urge you to consider staying. It is him who needs to leave. Your Brother should have a Recovery Plan in place. Methadone is good, but is only a very small part of Treatment and Recovery.

ijustwannadance Sat 16-Jan-16 19:51:41

He needs to leave and get his own place before he destroys your mum too.

jillyarmeen16 Sat 16-Jan-16 23:25:07

Sorry you are going through this op. My brother is an addict it is the most heartbreaking thing to see someone you love destroy themselves and others around them. No advice really I've long since washed my hands of my brother and am now waiting for the call to tell me he's dead or seriously injured. Just so you know you're not alone x

bodenbiscuit Sat 16-Jan-16 23:32:15

Is he actually off the heroin? I had a partner who was a heroin addict. He kept it from me for ages but it is the most destructive addiction. They spend every penny they have on the drug. My ex's mum gave him £1000 to help him get out of debt. He spent the lot on heroin. I left the relationship. By the time I knew about it he acted like he didn't even know me. He works in a place where they are completely enabling him by allowing him to live in the flat above and pay him full pay even though he's barely ever at work.

I am even more sorry for people like the OP when it's a close family member and it's harder to walk away.

cocochanel21 Sun 17-Jan-16 01:17:20

I really feel for you. Heroin addiction is horrendous for a family to deal with. Your poor mum must be heartbroken.

Nannaboppa Sun 17-Jan-16 06:18:24

Thanks everyone. Yes it is Metadone! It really is the hardest thing. Seeing him completely out of it last week we were wondering if he's back on it & he does go to lifeline for regular drug tests. I have another brother & sister & we all just want him in His own place so badly which he's supposed to be getting help with. It may come down to us paying his first months rent & bond I guess befor he completely breaks my mums heart.
I've never got on with him or even liked him but it's still not nice seeing him like this, it's even harder seeing my mum so upset.

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