Hi Ive been reading these threads for a while but never joined, I finally decided to post on here because I feel so worthless in my relationship and have no one to talk to about it and looking to see what an outsider would make of it.
I am sat here alone again because my partner of 8 years has put himself first again. The first couple of years we were together he used to spend a lot of time with me and we got on great, we moved in together after a couple of years and now have 2 beautiful children together.
However in the last couple of years things have been going downhill gradually and it's got to the point where me and the kids never see him.
He starts work early so is out of the house before me and children wake up, he then goes to his friends straight from work and doesn't roll in the door until gone 10pm every night. He doesn't come home for dinner, when he does finally come in he doesn't ask how I or the kids are just acts like nothing is wrong,he'll have a smoke and falls asleep.
Plus every weekend he spends all his time with his friends and leaves me to do everything with the kids 24/7, 7 days a week.
When I try to confront him over his behaviour and ask why he doesn't come home, he tells me to stop nagging, he will say I'm trying to control him and tell him what to do. Then tells me I can't tell him when he can see his friends and he will do and go where he wants.
I asked him did he not want to be in this relationship anymore and he said he does, he loves me and will change, spend more time with me and the kids and made me 1001 promises but never followed through on any of them.
I just feel so lonely and worthless like Me and our children are not enough for him. Has anyone ever been in a relationship with anyone so selfish?
that sounds horrendous! I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I wouldn't hang around for my dp if he acted like that.
It sounds as if he is acting like a single man and not accepting any family responsibility. You really do deserve better than this. Perhaps it's time to rethink this relationship? You have given him adequate chance to mend his ways.
Thank you for your replys. He smokes weed he is a heavy user of weed. When I met him he didn't smoke it but these 'friends' do and over the years he began to smoke it more and doesn't go a day without it. I've asked him to quit or at least cut down previously but he refuses. I know deep down there is basically no relationship anymore. I just feel like I've got no strength emotionally, when it comes to him I love him so much. I just wish he would love me back as much but his actions tell me he doesn't want to be near me and it hurts so much. He used to make me so happy. I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but he's destroying that with his behaviour and I feel it doesn't matter how hard I try no matter what I do he doesn't want me. I just feel rejected and heart broken.
He needs to go you know that. You all deserve better and at the moment you are a glorified hotel. Put your foot down today..... 'What are we doing with the kids today' or rather 'what are you doing.... I am going out' You can do this....
I know it's easy for me to say because I'm Not in your situation but I think it's time you chucked him out. He's not making you happy, he's not even acknowledging you or your children. When you try ask him to not go out as much (which is a perfectly reasonable request) he's belittling you making you think your in the wrong and your nagging and controlling. It's obviously your life and your choice but just ask yourself does this person make you happy? Will you be happier on your own not having to worry about what time he's going to turn up home.