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I'm sure I just saw my husband on a sex site

(13 Posts)
Fuckingmuglips Fri 15-Jan-16 08:48:01

I just found out some strange stuff about DH, that he loves trannys and likes men dressed as women? that he's been on sex sites before we met (big shock didn't think he was that sort of person) now I can't really trust the man as he lies so much and he's been hiding his phone I've been sneaking a look when in shower and he's got 2 internet browsers! There's 1 that keeps popping up but has no history on and is set to private mode! So here's the thing I had a search on local sex sites for him just typed in his age and area just out of suspicion and on one site there's a man and its a picture of his arse, and it looks like him but it's just his arse so I'm unsure but it looks like our house, the same doors, I must sound like an absolute nutter here? I just dunno what to do...

RancidOldHag Fri 15-Jan-16 08:57:10

"now I can't really trust the man as he lies so much"

This is the key point. You don't need a showdown over a sex site.

Fuckingmuglips Fri 15-Jan-16 08:57:53

I won't mention it I can't really say I was scanning through sites looking for him...

PennyHasNoSurname Fri 15-Jan-16 09:01:36

Its something like this that would make me separate - the not being able to trust him etc. Is this what you want for your future? Scrutinising arses online wondering when, not if, he will betray you again?

pocketsaviour Fri 15-Jan-16 09:04:08

Well you need to pull a Babushka here, don't you? Set up a profile, contact him the arse you think belongs to him, and arrange a meet.

ChristmasCabbage Fri 15-Jan-16 09:04:44

"now I can't really trust the man as he lies so much"

This is all that matters. The fact he is/isn't on a sex site, the fact that he likes men or women or men dressed as women, the fact he went on sex sites before you met- these details don't really matter too much. The point is you don't trust your husband and you need to decide what you want to do about that.

Would you consider messaging him with a fake profile (or getting a friend to do it) to find out if it's him?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Fri 15-Jan-16 09:08:39

Is he seeking men or women? What kind of profile could op set up?

Offred Fri 15-Jan-16 09:12:00

I have some abnormal sexual predelictions as do many of my past partners. I wouldn't freak out if a partner confessed theirs to me, I would dump someone for keeping this kind of stuff from me in a LTR.

You don't trust him, he has kept things from you. That's enough to end it, as others have said.

Don't get into trawling the Internet or baiting him to catch him out. You don't need evidence to leave, you just need to give yourself permission.

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals Fri 15-Jan-16 16:56:06

Just talk to him about where you go from here, no further action required.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 15-Jan-16 17:08:08

As he is an arse I have no doubt you recognised him on the site.

How long have you been married? Do you have dc and are you buying or renting your home?

HandyWoman Fri 15-Jan-16 17:12:38

I'd be setting up a profile and sending a message to the arse.

That way lies easily-obtainable incontrovertible evidence - avoiding any need to listen to the pleas of 'you must be mistaken, don't know how that got there' <yawn>

Fuckingmuglips Fri 15-Jan-16 19:47:24

I have set up a profile and messages but he hasn't even replied but he's been online! It says he's looking for women men couples and TVs. We have been married just over a year, been together 6 year. I didn't find out about his 'fantasies' until a little while back when I stumbled across it and he denied for so long but had to admit. He was embarrassed I'm pissed off! We rent, it's in both our names we have a 18 month old.

PennyHasNoSurname Fri 15-Jan-16 20:01:39

Can you screenshot it all?

If it were me I would print it all and pack his bag, putting it all on the top of the clothes. Kick him out without explaination, amd he will realise once he opens his bag.

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