Just what the title says really. We have two young boys together (20 months and 5 months). He'd never been violent before until I was pregnant with DS2 (beginning of last year). He's never hit me but he can't control his anger when we argue, and grips my face and neck, pulls my hair etc, this has been going on for around 9 months. After DS2 was born we had a really good spell and I blamed the pregnancy hormones for making me crazy and winding him up so much. He hasn't worked for the whole of this time, it's been stressful with barely any income coming in and we're both together all day long. A couple of days ago I asked him if he would get up with the kids as I'd been flitting between them all night, he said no, we started to argue and he lent over both the boys (they were in bed with us), gripped my face and pushed it into the pillow, DS1 got upset. The argument continued in the kitchen whilst doing breakfast and he gripped my face and neck again several time and pulled my hair and yanked my head back all in front of DS1. Last straw, I knew he had to go, I can't bear the thought of my children growing up witnessing that and thinking its normal.
Called friends and my mum who all came straight over, he put up a bit of a fight before leaving but I eventually phoned his dad and said if he didn't come and get him I would have him removed by the police.
I know I've done the right thing. I'm not innocent in all of this, I say terrible things to him when we argue but nothing I say means it's acceptable for him to do that to me. I'm struggling so much to come to terms with it. It's taken a lot of courage for me to tell people what he's done, so that I'm held accountable to people to make sure I don't take him back.
I know I can cope on my own, I just can't imagine life without him. I feel like I've let my boys down that he won't be around for them all the time when really I've kicked him out because I know we'll all be better off and happier without him.
It's just so hard, he's not a complete bastard. He loves the boys so much and it broke my heart to watch him say goodbye to them. I know things will get easier, it's just still so raw I'm finding it hard to deal with.
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Relationships
Ended abusive relationship and just need some support
6 replies
AliOh · 14/01/2016 10:24
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