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Can a man and woman ever just be friends?

(27 Posts)
TheChiropractorIsHereToSeeYou Wed 13-Jan-16 20:00:14

In my limited experience, most men will only bother with girls (even in a friendship way) if they find them attractive. I find that women are more inclined to see men as "just friends" though. Anyone agree?

Cabrinha Wed 13-Jan-16 20:11:24

Not my experience at all.
In my late 20s I was involved in a male dominated sport. Made loads of male friends. Not a single one hit on me. Still in touch with about 8 now, and have remained friends through marriages and children, for over 10 years.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 13-Jan-16 20:19:38

Definitely not. I've got loads of male friends who clearly have no intentions beyond friendship.

I have always worked in male dominated industries.

Is your limited experience, a bitter experience? Been played?

angryangryyoungwoman Wed 13-Jan-16 20:21:59

One of my closest friends is a man, so yes, in answer to your question

angryangryyoungwoman Wed 13-Jan-16 20:22:38

Oops, I meant no! Haha

TheCatsMeow Wed 13-Jan-16 20:23:06

This is such a weird question. It assumes everyone is straight.

Using this logic, bisexuals can never have friends...hmm

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus Wed 13-Jan-16 20:23:19

I've never had problems being just friends with men.

I've had male friends that I went to conferences with as a postgrad and shared rooms (and beds) with. There was never anything going on beyond some friends trying to save money.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus Wed 13-Jan-16 20:24:23

Similarly, I've never found that my friends who happen to be lesbian are interested in me as anything other than a friend.

user7755 Wed 13-Jan-16 20:24:58

Your title asks a different question from your OP!

Anyway, yes a man and a woman can be just friends - of course. I have lots of male friends and was reflecting yesterday that my male friends from Uni are like brothers to me, no romantic inclinations whatsoever.

HermioneWeasley Wed 13-Jan-16 20:26:40

FFS of course they can

flatbellyfella Wed 13-Jan-16 20:56:25

Most of my true friends are women, without a hint of romance involved.

expatinscotland Wed 13-Jan-16 20:57:35

Um, yes, it's entirely possible.

shihtzumamma Wed 13-Jan-16 21:42:53

I dont think so.
Nearly all of my so-called friends (male) have always tried it on with me and I hate it maybe I give off the wrong vibes I dunno but anyway now I avoid male friends altogether.

FriendofBill Wed 13-Jan-16 21:53:57

Same here shih

The last time was a 60+ year old who I thought safe.
Ended up sending 'you looked beautiful today in your dress' texts.

Men friends are not for me.

pocketsaviour Wed 13-Jan-16 21:55:43

Yes they can but you have to be careful with boundaries because I do think if given a sniff of a chance most men would try for a shag. (Well that's been my experience anyway.)

As I'm single I am always careful to extend invitations to male friends plus their partners. (Hopefully they don't think I'm angling for a threesome grin )

I had a male best friend in my 20s and we were really close but he was in love with me and I just didn't feel the same way. We got really drunk one night and I ended up snogging him, would have DTD but he was so drunk he was incapable confused Then the next day he thought we were going to be in a relationship now and I had to say no, sorry, it was just drunken fumblings. He was so hurt and I felt awful. The friendship never recovered. I would never make that mistake again now.

SpendSpendSpend Wed 13-Jan-16 21:56:45

I dont think they can be truly just friends.

Every male friend i ve had has always tried to be more than a friend.

UmbongoUnchained Wed 13-Jan-16 21:59:46

My best friend is a man. We basically do everything a couple would do but with no sexual attraction. But that's the same as my female friends. I even plaited his hair him for the other day while we lay on the sofa watching films and farting.

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 13-Jan-16 22:13:10

I have quite a few female friends that are just friends.

Threefishys Wed 13-Jan-16 22:41:13

Yes but there has to have never been even the slightest sniff of attraction ever. I have one really good male friend and he is as good a friend to me as any of my female friends.

ohdearlord Wed 13-Jan-16 22:42:42

My best friends are, and always have been, male. Not a hint of anything else.

LovelyFriend Wed 13-Jan-16 22:52:43

Of course it's possible. I've got many long term good male friends. I'm pretty confident they aren't secretly wanting to sleep with me.

shihtzumamma Thu 14-Jan-16 00:29:00

Friendofbill - Yep 😊 i know that one aswell...think we are safe with elderly men - appears not.

Gobbolino6 Thu 14-Jan-16 01:11:53

I've had lots of male friends over the years, and every single one has tried it on at some point. I'm sure it's not universal, but that has been my experience.

VioletRoller Thu 14-Jan-16 01:25:13

I don't know, not close friends anyway in my expirience. Some I was sure of then later admitted they just didn't act on it because I'd never be interested.

So I don't have male (proper) friends anymore. People Id see in a bar etc yeah, but not emotionally invested, texting to chat etc.

It doesn't feel appropiate to me when in a relationship. But everyone is different. smile

dilbert19912 Thu 14-Jan-16 11:51:28

Im not sure... I had a really good male friend and some boundaries were crossed and now we barely see each other. I would like to be friends again but i cant really see a way forward.
I dont have any other male friends.

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