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Can some one order a Dna test and contact?

(8 Posts)
Saphwoodman Wed 13-Jan-16 10:56:52

I'm posting on behalf of a friend not me.

She was 17 when she fell pregnant and the babies father was 24, it wasn't serious just a short fling really. She fell pregnant and continued the pregnancy much to his horror. He wanted her to abort and she refused. He then went on to hit her, although this was not reported as she said she still had feelings for him. She begged him to be involved whilst pregnant he refused. Gave her threats of violence along with telling her to kill herself and the baby and making her scared in her own home saying he had paid people to make her miscarry.

When she gave birth she again begged he was involved and met her son. He refused threatened her and the baby again, told her the baby was ugly etc. Said that if she ever brought the baby to see him he would drown him etc. She stopped contact in June and got on with her life as a single parent.

He made contact in November and said sorry to her. He said he knows he shouldn't have said what he did and regrets it and that he only said it because he was scared and did not want a child. He has asked to see his son. She said she would think about it but needed time as she wasn't sure and does not trust him. He got angry at this and has advised her he has spoken to a solicitor and filled in forms. She has told him that he is not the father although he knows she's lying but she has advised him this is what she will tell the court, so he has said he will get a court ordered Dna test.

Now he is saying that everything's sent off and he's going to get a Dna test and the access. She is completely scared. She has severe bipolar and he has said he will use that against her in getting access. She is so scared and distraught I don't know what to tell her. She is scared that he is going to take him away from her and harm him and follow through with his previous threats. She says she doesn't trust him at all. Bless her she is so scared and is telling me she wants to run away and I wouldn't put it past her considering her condition.

Nabootique Wed 13-Jan-16 11:06:32

She needs a solicitor ASAP. So, is the baby his, and she was just trying to put him off by saying that it is not?

Saphwoodman Wed 13-Jan-16 11:24:05

The baby is his and he knows it's his. She has told him she is going to say he isn't just so the whole process takes longer or gets stopped. She hasn't received any court letters yet as this was only said yesterday. So he could just be lying but it sounds too convincing to be a lie.

keely79 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:28:23

If the baby is his, it's his. They need to work together to raise the child. Yes, he behaved disgracefully at the start, but if he's now willing to be involved in the child's life, and step up and be a father, she should let him. It's what is best for the child that's the main thing.

If she's scared on having contact with him, does she have a third party who could facilitate access so she doesn't need to see him/meet him.

She should also look into seeking maintenance for the child from him.

FredaMayor Wed 13-Jan-16 11:31:24

I think it would be well to advise your friend not to say anything else that is untrue, or believes to be untrue in her dealings with the baby's father, because it will make matters worse. She is also in need of legal advice as has been said.

Saphwoodman Wed 13-Jan-16 11:33:14

I appreciate your advise but she is not having any of it. I have already spoken to her about the possibility of allowing supervised access and she refuses. She is too wound up on the fact that he hit her and made threats against the babies life. She is vulnerable, especially with her condition and is adamant he will not have access and wants him to leave her alone as was agreed by him in June.

I was just posting to see if any one had legal knowledge of if he would be allowed to force a Dna test if she says he is not the father.

pocketsaviour Wed 13-Jan-16 11:39:48

Is he on the birth certificate? If he is, then he doesn't need a DNA test, he can apply for contact immediately. If she lies in court she's going to look a right idiot, especially given she's been chasing him throughout the pregnancy and early childhood to have contact!

If he's not on the BC then ordering a DNA test will take some time, but yes providing he's prepared to pay the relevant court costs it can certainly be done.

As to the threats he made against her and the baby, does she have proof of any of these, e.g. texts, voicemails, emails? Given that she's now claimed she will lie and say the baby isn't his, she's shot herself in the foot by casting doubt on her own honesty. If she has proof of the threats then the court may order supervised access only.

Her Bipolar diagnosis is irrelevant unless he's making a try for primary residence. It won't affect contact.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 13-Jan-16 11:43:54

Keely, with respect, violent fathers aren't what's best for children. Not being ready to be a parent is fairly normal, violent threats aren't.

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