My DP keeps hinting at proposal

[mamapoppins23]

I feel very excited and a little confused, DP and I to clarify haven't been together long at all but honestly have never felt so happy or connected with someone. I'm lots more confident since I met DP, he's very loving, romantic, kind and so wonderfully sensitive. Sounds a bit mad, but I knew I wanted to marry him after our first night together which was actually subsequently my first time . I get on really well with his family, particularly his Mother and when I fell pregnant at only being with him two months, we were both over the moon. We are madly in love with one another and I and have no doubts about him whatsoever and think if this had been with someone else, don't think I would of been overjoyed to be pregnant after such a short period of time. Anyway he keeps hinting that he wants to marry me, that he wants to make me his wife and these days my head is spinning. I don't want to rush this because things have progressed so fast without us meaning to, and just feel as if we are simply meant to be. I know he's been looking at rings and wants to save up for a decent one. Other night he said that he doesn't want to rush this but he doesn't want to wait too long.... He's even hinted to his Mum and to be honest, all of our loved ones I think are expecting it. I know I'm going to say yes wholeheartedly just uh not sure when he's going to propose. I would like to wait till the baby, but then again umm I don't know , I've never been in love or pregnant before. He's one for romantic surprises for example brought me flowers in bed one morning and think he'll catch me completely off guard!

[munkynutts]

Congratulations?

#notbitter ;)

[Yseulte]

Look what happened to Cheryl Cole and be very careful.

[Orange1969]

My dh proposed to me after a week and this year will be our 17th anniversary :)

Having said that, we didn't actually marry until three years later.

[Creampastry]

You don't want to rush it ..... But you are pregnant!! Ok ....

[dontcryitsonlyajoke]

Also somewhat perplexed at you not wanting to rush things when you're already pregnant! It's a bit late to be taking it slowly.

[MoMoTy]

You're already pregnant but don't want to rush marriage? Lol how odd.

[Marilynsbigsister]

If you aren't married and have a child, you are at a huge disadvantage unless you happen to have your own private income that won't stop once you stop work/take time to look after baby. It's a really daft idea to get pregnant before marriage but now it's happened get the legal protection (marriage) done asap !

[firesidechat]

Are you in the same room when all this hinting is going on? If so, why don't you just talk to him about it. I may be an old unromantic, but seeing as you are pregnant, I would be having a grown up conversation about your future.

[Ginslinger]

You're pregnant which has rushed things already - you need a proper discussion about your future , not hints

[firesidechat]

I'm going to sound like a total hypocrite here because I married my husband within 6 months of us starting to date, but I'm not sure I would get married in a rush. Getting pregnant in a new relationship sounds a bit flaky and you don't want to be flaky about marriage too.

You sound very young.

[BertrandRussell]

You need to make sure that you and you baby are protected financially-that's the most important thing. Are you both working?

[firesidechat]

So you're 23.

[firesidechat]

Other night he said that he doesn't want to rush this but he doesn't want to wait too long....

If he said this, it sounds like the middle of a conversation about marriage. What else did he say? What did you say? You aren't waiting for a romantic proposal are you?

[Gobbolino6]

As someone who has been married a long time now, I am going to be very boring and say that before you make a long term commitment you would be wise to consider other things too. What do you both want out of life long term? Lifestyle, career, finances, children, general interests and outlook on life. Are there any red flags or anything not right in the way you interact? I'd have laughed if someone had said that to me when I first met my husband, but in the long run these things are genuinely more important. Great chemistry and romance are brilliant, but after a few years they won't be the major part of your relationship. Is this someone you can see running a house with, running finances with and bringing up children with for many years to come?

[BitOutOfPractice]

You don't want to rush?

[firesidechat]

Couldn't agree more with Gobbolino6.

As I said I married my husband quite quickly, but we had known each other as friends before dating, we had similar views on important life decisions such as how many children we wanted and the importance of honesty. We also had some overlapping interests, a compatible sense of humour and he was my best friend. All of those things have helped our relationship to stand the test of time.

Had you only known him for the 2 months previous to your pregnancy?

[firesidechat]

Are you the op who lives in some kind of specialist accommodation because of some issues in your life? Even more reason not to rush into marriage.

[Duckdeamon]

If you're working and unmarried, don't quit your job after the DC arrives!

[saffynool]

Sorry to sound like a party-pooper but, given that you are already pregnant, you need to sit down with him and have a mature, realistic and sensible conversation with him about marriage and your future together as a family, rather than all this hinting and second-guessing.

I'm not suggesting that it can't work simply because you haven't been together very long, but it sounds as if you are both being a bit head-in-the-clouds about it all.

Romance is lovely but it tends to go out the window when you're up for the eighth time in the night with a crying baby. You need a strong foundation to get through the tough times as well as all the good stuff. I would get talking, right now, not continue sitting around wishing and hoping for a romantic proposal.

[bittapitta]

Legally speaking it makes more sense to get married before having a baby. If you marry afterwards, you'll have to reregister the baby's birth.

[saffynool]

I have read your other threads. You seem to be in quite a complex situation. You definitely need to be having down-to-earth conversations with your boyfriend about how your future is going to pan out together. I wish you well.

[RiceCrispieTreats]

I have also looked at your other threads and posts. I think that OTT romantic gestures and rushed relationships don't bode well at the best of times. But you are clearly a vulnerable young woman, so this is extra alarming.

I hope you have plenty of support in place for what is going to be something of a roller-coaster.

Good luck.

[AyeAmarok]

Does nobody use contraception anymore?

[CallieTorres]

how long is 'not long'?

guessing more than 2 but less than 11?

Why do you (any woman) have to wait for him to ask? surely its a grown up decision and should be made when both are ready?

It does confuse me why all these strong independent ladies out there are all fluffy about this. My proposal as it was, was a 'shall we get married then?' - simple

[firesidechat]

I know what you mean. It all seems so topsy turvy and the comment about not rushing things is ironic. If you get married and it's a big mistake, you can get divorced and never see that person again. If you have a child with them, you are tied to that person, to some extent, for the next 18 years and beyond. Why is marriage such a big deal, but having babies treated so lightly.