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oh help, do I cancel?

(27 Posts)
OnlyGodKnowsWhy Tue 12-Jan-16 20:09:34

Started seeing someone recently, due to see him again Friday so will have been a week since we last met, was so looking forward to seeing him!

But I've been a bit rundown lately and to my absolute horror my dreaded cold sore has started up and I am the ONLY person I know that gets it on the tip of my nose! Other than my grandmother.

I'm going to have to cancel aren't I, or risk putting him off. I've got tablets to take but they don't do much, l-lysine supplement which limits it to about once a year and a cream but chances of it even being able to be covered with makeup by Friday night is highly unlikely.

Because it's a new relationship, I don't see him in the week as I have my children so the weekend is the time I can see him. If I cancel it will likely mean I won't see him until the following weekend and how would I explain that one? Hey, I've got face herpes, can't meet for 7-10 days? blush

Newyearnewme2016 Tue 12-Jan-16 20:15:03

I'd invent another illness eg tonsillitis or shingles or something else that doesn't sound so funny.

Joysmum Tue 12-Jan-16 20:15:16

I'd tell him you have a cold sore on you're nose and are embarrassed about it so will see him next week when it's less angry.

Joysmum Tue 12-Jan-16 20:15:43

If you can't be honest at the start of a relationship....

ALaughAMinute Tue 12-Jan-16 20:16:27

How does it look? If it doesn't look too bad you could just cover it up with makeup and tell him the truth? You'd have to resist kissing him of course but at least you could go on the date.

RedRainRocks Tue 12-Jan-16 20:17:24

Depending on where you get your data, up to 90% of people could be carriers of the Herpes simplex virus. Long term, he's bound to find out...why not just drop the ball on his court. "Ugh, feeling a bit crap, got a cold sore too - so unlucky it's turned up now" and see what he says. I suffer from them (although not on my nose) and found most people are quite blazè about them - except me about my own! We are always hardest on ourselves. If he freaks out - well, at least you know shock

Newyearnewme2016 Tue 12-Jan-16 20:17:42

Oh just thought, I used tonsillitis as an excuse once and the guy said he didn't have any tonsils.

Shingles is a good one as the man I was seeing then said his mother couldn't remember if he had chickenpox as a child so he couldn't see me for two weeks. It was bliss grin.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Tue 12-Jan-16 20:20:54

It's red and a little weepy at the moment, tomorrow will really tell me how bad it's going to be.

I absolutely hate it, because of where it is, the tip of my nose! It's so embarrassing.

BackInTheRealWorld Tue 12-Jan-16 20:21:59

Oh god yeah cancel.

loveyoutothemoon Tue 12-Jan-16 20:22:27

I agree, invent something else like the flu! If he's decent he'll wait.

Cabrinha Tue 12-Jan-16 20:47:18

How recent is recent?
My new boyfriend had a cold sore about a month in.
The no kissing was frustrating as hell, but it didn't put me off him.
If it were a 2nd date I'd cancel. But if you've reached exclaim dating / boyfriend stage, I'd just go!
I'd warn him first though!

SexNamesRFab Tue 12-Jan-16 21:06:32

Definitely cancel, you don't need the stress paranoia. Tell him you have a shocking cold which feels like it's turning into flu and you don't want to pass it on/make it worse.

RealityCheque Tue 12-Jan-16 22:41:21

Wtf? Do grown ups really behave like this?

Joysmum Tue 12-Jan-16 22:45:33

Wtf? Do grown ups really behave like this?

Clearly they do. Can't understand why you couldn't be honest about it. I can't abide liars. confused

WanderingNotLost Tue 12-Jan-16 22:46:33

I'd rearrange. If anything, just because cold sores are contagious and once you've got one, you'll always get them.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 12-Jan-16 22:47:41

I don't suppose he'll care. You wouldn't cancel if you'd fallen and scraped your nose, which would look more or less the same.

Cold sores aren't gross in my mind. Unfortunate and inconvenient, but they certainly aren't shameful or embarrassing.

1DAD2KIDS Tue 12-Jan-16 23:26:11

You are dating a human right? Then surely he can cope with the fact you have a cold sore. It's not primary school any more. Why deprive each other of a good time and risk him thinking you made up an excuse not to see him. If he is really that bother (wich I doubt) he obviously doesn't live in the real world and I would have questions about a future with him.

KittyWindbag Wed 13-Jan-16 11:55:15

Poor you OP. I don't get coldsores but my mum always has done and I know they make her feel depressed.

For future reference, I bought my mum one of these cold sore zappers and it's one of the best things I've done. She uses it as soon as she feels one coming on and it really reduces the size and appearance, and sometimes has stopped them coming up at all. It seems to have quite good reviews on here, maybe worth a look smile

(Sorry if this sounds like a product pushing post, I just tell everyone about it because it has been such a useful thing to her)

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Wed 13-Jan-16 14:03:13

Well the cold sore is here...but it's tiny! Definitely should be able to cover it up by Friday. However, I am going to tell him anyways, as some of you have said, he would find out in the long term anyways and it's not something I want to pass on to him.

Shemozzle Wed 13-Jan-16 14:13:48

I'm saddened honesty isn't everyone else's answer. If it was huge and weepy I'd have just text

'Been really looking forward to this weekend, totally gutted to wake up to a cold sore today. It looks hideous and I really don't fancy showing my face out in public, and even if it didn't put you off I'd hate not being able to kiss you wink. Can we re-arrange?'

Or 'Urgh, have a hideous cold sore right on the end of my hooter! I'm such a catch. If this doesn't put you off can we go somewhere dark like the cinema? I'm afraid kissing is off the agenda sad'.

HotNatured Wed 13-Jan-16 14:17:05

Get some of these

l-lysine tablets from Holland & Barrett, take 3000ml a day til its cleared

and some of this

l-lysine ointment, again from H+B, apply like a lip balm. Sleep in it, apply it after every meal and drink

The offending sore will be gone in a couple of days.

(I had a coldsore a few dates into my current partner, but not on my nose admittedly, I felt a bit rank because its not the most attractive look is it, but I knew he liked me and quite frankly if he'd have been put off then he wasn't right for me anyway.

In fact he really didnt mind and insisted on kissing me despite the coldsore (which was at this stage just a mark on my lip not a weeping sore), I said no way, but he wouldn't have it, said it would be worth it, and low and behold, he caught my coldsore. He hasn't had one since and I only get them every few years, but I felt DREADFULLY guilty about it for quite a while afterwards. He still says it was worth it tho grin )

passivesonata Wed 13-Jan-16 14:25:01

Text and say you are sorry but you've got a part in a play as the gruffalo and have had to get make up to do a poisonous wart on the end of your nose and you are too embarrassed to go out. He will see the funny side of it and probably won't mind a cold sore. That's assuming that he has a sense of humour of course.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Wed 13-Jan-16 15:58:48

I have l-lysine and use proplis cream which I think has done wonders, first time I've used it. It's not red and angry looking like it usually would be. I'm delighted actually as i really thought it was going to be a horror!

We've been seeing each other about three weeks so very new.

Nomoregrief Wed 13-Jan-16 16:12:25

I get them inside my nose and when they heal the scab can be seen hanging down - looks like a huge booger. It is disgusting beyond words. blush blush

OnlyGodKnowsWhy Wed 13-Jan-16 18:21:47

Had that too for a bit then shifted to the tip of my nose. Seems to be healing quick enough thankfully.

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