What does this mean???

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

Hi there!

I'm a new mum with a new baby. Very proud and happy. I'm sociable, I tend to stay in touch with my 'ex's'. Recently an 'ex' asked me how I was. I replied that I was SOO happy, difficult birth but beautiful child - how are you? He replaied that he has a new gf - she is a doctor - she has been telling him all about 'vaginal tearing'. What the HELL does that mean????

[Only1scoop]

Sounds like he's referring to birth stories she's been telling him.

How lovely

[BackInTheRealWorld]

What does vaginal tearing mean? It means when your fanny ends up like chopped liver after birthing

[RoganJosh]

What do you mean,what does he mean?

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

Yes - nasty. But why put that in a message to me??? How inappropriate!

[MaisieDotes]

Maybe because you mentioned a difficult birth?

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

So is that a normal response??

[NerrSnerr]

I wonder if it was a big tongue in cheek because your message sounded a bit smug, how soo happy you are.

[MaisieDotes]

I'm not saying it's ok btw! But maybe that's what he thought of?

I always tell people my births were sunshine and lollipops. Only my nearest and dearest know the truth. I don't want randomers imagining me during the pushing stage

[Soooosie]

Answer 'That sounds painful!'

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

Ok, so it was a 'humourous' response to me being smug.

[Only1scoop]

Not sure

[AnyFucker]

It sounds like a bit of a strange conversation all round, tbh

I wouldn't give an ex such intimate information and he sounds a bit weird

[Cabrinha]

What an odd post.
How can anyone possibly tell you what he meant by it?
You're the one that dated him!

It could range from he was always a nasty abusive man who just wants to bring you down and make you feel shit about your body and self, to a lovely guy who is just light heartedly saying "ouch".

FWIW my own midwife said "looks like a dog's dinner down here" - it was just her sense of humour and after 4 hours with me, she judged correctly that it would go down OK with me.

You're the best judge of what he meant!

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

That's the issue! I have no idea what he meant. I would hope - light hearted.

[Only1scoop]

I don't think I'd give it much more thought to be honest.

I might not give him any finer details though

[bigbeniswatchingyou]

Light hearted but sinister?

[AnyFucker]

My advice is to stop sharing intimate details with exes. They are exes for a reason.

[SongBird16]

I can't see anything sinister in it at all. It sounds like a light-hearted joke. Tbh I find it more odd that it bothered you to the extent of posting about it.

[twirlypoo]

I think your over thinking it. Congratulations on your new baby, but maybe just keep things a little less personal for ex's - and try not to over analyse their responses either!

[SelfLoathing]

pretty weird of you to tell your EX about your birth issues so really what do you expect?

Doesn't sound like you are really "friends" otherwise you'd be able to read him properly and know what he meant. If you were "friends" you'd also know he had a new gf who was a dr.

Fact is you aren't friends in any sense. What you meant is for your own perculiar reasons you have opted to stay in touch with an ex and pretend to yourself you are "friends". Why would you do this? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like you have a back up plan in case your current relationship doesn't work out?

This person isn't really serving any positive benefit to you by staying in touch is he? I'd cut him off and think no more about it.