To cut a long story short I'm looking for some opinions on something that happened recently that is really bothering me.
On Christmas day at my girlfriends family's house they had a surprise visit from her mams new husbands sons, they both flew over from Australia. I've been with my girlfriend nearly two years and up until then didn't even know they existed. Both of them are pretty good looking, well built lads. My girlfriend was so exited to see one of them in particular it raised a bit of a weird feeling for me, I guess jealousy is the word I'm looking for. This lad is not blood related and she mentioned him a good few times over the next few days. I never showed her I was feeling jealous, at the time I thought it was unwarranted and down to my insecurities.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and we got an invite to the lads leaving party as they're going back to Australia shortly. We spend the night in a social club drinking and head to a busy bar/club at the end of the night. My girlfriend is their, along with her mam, her "stepdad" and his sons and each of the sons girlfriends.
By the end of the night my girlfriend and the lad I had a funny feeling about (her step brother) were on the dance floor together, holding hands, his arms around her waist and on the top of her backside, she had her arms around his shoulders and neck, their faces right next to each other and to my eyes it looked wrong. This went on for about an hour, I tried on two occasions to come over and join them as I felt like a right fool standing their with her mam while she was dancing with him but she basically ignored me. I took a couple of photos of them in each others arms with the intent to show her in the morning because I knew she would say I was just being jealous and it was nothing. The lad she was dancing with could see I was getting upset and came over and said something along the lines of "she might be dancing like that with me but at least she's going home with you mate", apparently he was trying to make me feel better but it really didn't come across that way to me at the time.
Foolishly I ended up talking about this with her on the night and because of my drunken state I didn't put this across in the manner I would have liked. She is now super angry at me for being "disgusting" for suggesting something was going on. She states she cares about him like a brother and they were just having fun.
Meanwhile I've showed the photos to several people who have all said it doesn't look right and she was at very least not being very respectful to me by dancing with him like that. I've not brought it up with her again since as I know she's still mad about it all. This has really upset me, I never in a million years thought she would dance that close with someone in front of me, we always saw eye to eye on what we each found acceptable behavior while in a relationship etc, I literally couldn't believe my eyes when I saw them. Up until now I trusted her 100% and that has been spoiled because right now I can't believe her.
She was adamant I was being unreasonable and jealous but I feel like I know what I saw. I know the lads girlfriend was also out that night and I'm not sure what she made of all of this. I called the lads dad last night to apologize for causing a scene by mentioning I was unhappy about it and he replied by saying "you don't need to apologize I understand".
What are people's opinions on this? Am I being a jealous maniac? Am I over reacting? Is she hiding something from me about this? Or should I just drop it?
Would you consider that a normal way to dance with a distant family member? Personally I would never dance with my mams partners daughter like that. I'm so shocked about the whole thing and I really hope it's just me being daft and over exaggerating things. I still have the photos and I'm unsure if I should show them to my girlfriend so she can see what it looked like to me. If I'm wrong about it she's going to be very upset I don't trust her but I just can't internalize how she felt comfortable doing that in front of me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Girlfriend danced with "step brother" on a night out....
stepdad85 · 12/01/2016 13:19
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.