Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Difficult divorce

(11 Posts)
jacky1234 Mon 11-Jan-16 14:18:23

I'm not sure I am in right place. I'm going through a divorce and just feel so down. EXH will not answer any solicitor letters, speak to me and thinks he hasn't got to. He sits in our mortgage free bungalow while I pay rent on a flat. I have 2 children with me full time. has anybody been in this position and come out the other side. How long did it take?

Cabrinha Mon 11-Jan-16 14:22:37

Sounds really tough sad
How long it takes is probably best answered by your solicitor, as it will depend on what exactly you are planning, and maybe how long court dates are taking in your area.

Are you trying to force a sale of the mortgage free bungalow, or get an occupation order to move back in?

flowers to you.

jacky1234 Mon 11-Jan-16 14:25:49

No it ha to be sold and then we can both buy a home, but he does not care if I haven't a penny. He is a very stubborn man and so hard to deal with.

ALaughAMinute Mon 11-Jan-16 14:30:44

What a bastard!

Is he paying you anything?

What does your solicitor say?

I'm going though divorce myself so I know how stressful it is, even without a husband who refuses to cooperate. Hope you manage to resolve things soon.

Stay strong. It may take longer than expected but you will get there!

flowers

FredaMayor Mon 11-Jan-16 15:16:42

Why is he living in the bungalow while you and DCs are renting?

jacky1234 Mon 11-Jan-16 17:06:19

ALaughAminute...Yes he is! Isn't it strange that someone you spent over 20 years with can turn into a stranger. No.. he is not paying me a penny. I have been to him to discuss our finances but will not discuss. The last time I went to the house he said "all I have ever worked for" then told me to get out as I was making him mad. My solicitor is sending letters, he has also been served papers but will not respond.
Fresdamayor ....I left as he made it unbearable for me to live in the same house.

FredaMayor Mon 11-Jan-16 17:55:16

It unfortunate although understandable that you left the house and I agree that you should move back in and for the sake of the DC he should leave if he is creating a nasty atmosphere. You have a perfect right to live in your own house.

Get someone forceful in RL who can help you in your dealings with him if you need it. There was a thread here a while back by a poster called Binders who had such a person, have a look at the thread if you can find it, sorry can't remember what the heading was.

Btw, is this man the father of the two DC?

jacky1234 Mon 11-Jan-16 20:00:53

yes he is the father. I had to leave, there is no way he would. He seems to think because it was his house when we married and I stayed at home to look after the children that it is his house. He has actually sa id to me "what exactly have you paid for in this house". I did go back to work when the youngest was six. x

12purpleapples Mon 11-Jan-16 20:05:06

He sounds charming hmm hopefully you can get the divorce progressed quickly.

pocketsaviour Mon 11-Jan-16 20:14:47

Do you feel your solicitor is forceful enough? Have you asked them about their tactics to deal with men like this before? You're perfectly within your rights to move to a solicitor with more experience dealing with twats like this, if you don't feel your current one is up to the job.

Is he having contact with the DC? Is he paying maintenance at all?

jacky1234 Mon 11-Jan-16 20:24:34

Solicitor is moving it on through the court, but costing us more than need be. Yes children see him, he gives lifts and they call to see him but out of obligation I think. They never sleepover. They are 16 and 17 and no he pays no maintenance. I think if I push he will do something with the money we have. at the moment I am trying to manage with the hope it will be split 50/50 in the end. He has sucked the life out of me.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now