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When a man seems to be taking things too quickly

(34 Posts)
bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 18:54:11

I apologise - I do post on here a lot about various people I'm dating or have dated. I have a tendency to go for emotionally unavailable men and it has caused me a lot of stress and heartache.

So, I decided to go out with someone different who I already met a few years ago. I have only been on one date with him and he made a real effort to be absolutely lovely and I do like him. But I feel he's rushing things. He's already talking about me being the one for him, going on holiday etc, He says he hasn't been on a date for years because he hadn't found the right person. He texted me to say he thought I was distant but actually I'm just kind of waiting to see how it pans out. He seems lovely but I don't know why he would be so over keen. He hasn't mentioned sex or nude photos like some dodgy guys I have dated.

He reminds me of another guy who sent me running because he was too keen and they are both Italian - I don't know if it's a culture things? That we Brits are a bit more cold and less open?

Any advice?

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 19:24:55


BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 10-Jan-16 19:33:02

I'd be wary and would keep my distance. You've only been on one date and he thought you were "distant", so how on earth could he know you're the one for him?

Too much, too soon for me.

pictish Sun 10-Jan-16 19:35:33

Too full on! Move along.

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 19:38:17

Yes this is what I thought. He keeps saying its destiny for us to be together and at the end of the date he said 'are we going somewhere?' Then this week he's texted me to ask if I mind if he goes to the pub(!)

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 10-Jan-16 19:42:43

The destiny thing would have me running a mile. He'll turn out to be either a limpet or a stalker. Get rid

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 19:44:55

Oh dear sad

Supermanspants Sun 10-Jan-16 19:46:56

This would REALLY put me off someone and in the past I have ditched on the basis of this sort of behaviour.

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 19:58:53

Ok, I can never seem to find someone normal. It's such a shame. But there is no possible way that he can know that we will work out at this early stage.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 10-Jan-16 19:59:09

I sometimes wonder if men think this is what the ladies like!! Maybe an 18 year old who's read too much romance ... Doesn't sound very grown up!! Defo taller material. Thrill of the chase and all that

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 19:59:11

What shall I say to him?

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 20:00:10

Hmm he's 34 and has been married before

abbsismyhero Sun 10-Jan-16 21:23:50

if he has been married before maybe he just wants to skip right to the part where he is married again texting you to see if it's ok for him to go to the pub suggests he misses someone missing him and needing him to check in?

TimeToMuskUp Sun 10-Jan-16 21:28:41

Wow, anyone mentioning the word 'destiny' would be cause to LTB, I think. It's such a pretentious word. Anyway, I've just texted my Italian SIL to ask if Italian men are more full-on in the date/relationship way and she says they're very direct and tactile but not like this; her opinion is run if a man behaves like this; it's not an Italian thing but a lunatic thing. I concur.

bodenbiscuit Sun 10-Jan-16 21:37:53

Oh dear! Ok. I certainly don't want any more stress. To be honest he was full on even before the first date but I thought that might be because I've already met him in the past.

0dfod Sun 10-Jan-16 22:14:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChubbyPolecat Sun 10-Jan-16 22:17:23

I would absolutely not get involved with this man

TeaInACup Sun 10-Jan-16 22:33:16

I was in a very similar situation to you last year op, and the longer it went on the worse it got! So, honestly, don't bother, it's been one date and the clues are already there, you can do so much better.

TooSassy Sun 10-Jan-16 22:37:24

I wouldn't even be asking.

There'd be a sassy shaped hole in the nearest wall. grin

In all seriousness OP. This is not even close to what emotionally stable behaviour looks like. Bin. Immediately.

Justmuddlingalong Sun 10-Jan-16 22:39:14

I used the 'fuck off, you're doing my head in' line. It worked. grin He will forever be referred to as 'the scarf' due to hanging round my neck.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 10-Jan-16 22:40:41

Ugh this man is a horror. Run fast in the opposite direction.

bodenbiscuit Mon 11-Jan-16 01:02:23

Justmuddling grin

I did think that this just didn't seem normal. Surely it's normal to be a little cautious at this point? He's trying to bring his daughter over to my house already.

Fauchelevent Mon 11-Jan-16 01:16:41

Agree with Time it's not an Italian thing, he's just full on. IME (bf is Italian) things have moved a bit quicker than with my friends relationships , and in terms of his friends' relationships I think they also moved quicker - but it's never "you're the one for me" sort of thing, just moving in/being a lot more open w feelings sooner than British couples.

Italian thing or not Italian thing, if you're not comfortable with the pace or his behaviour, now's the time to dip out!

JohnThomas69 Mon 11-Jan-16 05:12:12

If you keep coming back here looking for direction regarding relationship quirks you're going to live a very lonely life. Just read another thread where the guy didn't seem interested enough and his texts could be a bit distant. General consensus.. Leave th b@#%@@#. I must be honest and admit to only coming on here when I can't sleep to get my chuckles at the relationship gurus who seem to dedicate every waking hour to this place. Which leaves wondering when the deluge of neglected partners posts will arrive complaining about the inattentive wives who spend there lives with there noses buried in there phones 24/7. Treat it all with a pinch of salt.
The definitive responses to what in general are very vague questions with limited info should be a warning for anyone seeking true advice on here.

Mrswinkler Mon 11-Jan-16 05:59:22

Wasn't there a post about an inattentive wife last night.

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