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Single and Wanting marriage/ children

(19 Posts)
Kimberley00001 Sun 10-Jan-16 11:07:02

I'm in my 30s. Single and not likely to meet anyone. Really want another child and marriage etc but I rarely meet anyone that's single and or interested in me. I'm
A student so I don't meet anyone there it's female dominated. Not working so that's out too. Tried online dating never got past the first date. Feel so desperately unhappy have an awful track record with men they never see me as relationship material, they just dump after sex. I already have one child from the only relationship I've ever been in which ended in disaster. How can I change my life for the better? Please help

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge Sun 10-Jan-16 11:44:47

If men are dumping you after sex stop having sex with them! Seriously, up your standards a little then the guys who are out for just a little fun will soon be gone

Kimberley00001 Sun 10-Jan-16 12:00:28

I'm not sleeping with them straight away!!!!

lampshady Sun 10-Jan-16 12:02:40

Do you have a good support network where you are? If you can have a regular babysitter once a week can you start a club or hobby? Anything you can join at uni? Does your course have placements?

I'm firmly of the belief that if you're happy being single, a relationship will fit in well as you're not reliant on that person for social interaction or self confidence, as you'll have all that already. Even if you fill your life with 'at home' activities, like exercise videos, reading things you enjoy etc, and timetable them in, then it'll give you structure and routine, which personally I find invaluable! Everyone is different though.

Kimberley00001 Sun 10-Jan-16 12:07:59

Hi lampshady. Not in uni in fe college and no clubs and things there that I'm aware of...I know I need to be happy alone but I feel times running out for me... I'm increasingly envious of those in relationships I've never had a special one so it does sting a bit. I want it all the fantastic chemistry, sex, support ,just someone who gets ME. Not feeling optimistic it will ever happen sad

Kimberley00001 Sun 10-Jan-16 12:21:28

I only have my X to childmind and he is quite changeable if I'm honest . I can't say I have a good support network, family are too caught up in there own circumstances and don't bother much

Ready123 Sun 10-Jan-16 14:13:31

I know it's tough but I really get the impression that it's your self esteem and confidence that needs working on. Of course you are "relationship material". If the men don't appreciate you then that is a reflection on them not on you! You don't need to work on being happy being single as such, but focus on being happy in your life and career. Spend time with nice friends. Keep internet dating though - it really is the best way to meet somebody and that perfect man doesn't always appear out of nowhere without you making any effort. But perhaps in order to increase your confidence you either need to be pickier with who you go on dates with or treat dates as an enjoyable experience in themselves rather than a potential meeting with "the one".

I'm around your age and it is a really tough time. But it's also a really exciting time where career plans can start to come together, you can have more of a sense of who you are and what is important to you, and you are still young enough to have exciting possibilities ahead. Try to focus on all of that if you can!

rendit Sun 10-Jan-16 14:39:16

The fact that you're a single mother and a student is going to immediately restrict your opportunities with single, childless men in their 30s.

Your best bet is probably to look at men in their early-mid 40s who are divorced and have kids of their own.

Kimberley00001 Sun 10-Jan-16 16:07:06

Rendit, I don't really want an older partner. Someone my own age will do just fine. Why am I restricted with single childless men my own age I don't understand ??

myfirstandonlylove Sat 16-Jan-16 20:02:24

You're not restricted with men your own age. No more than anyone else is restricted by anything. I am fairly slim so am restricted with women who prefer bigger men. Neither does being a student restrict you. Sure lots of people would love to get to know you.

WhatsGoingOnEh Sat 16-Jan-16 20:05:32

Read a few good dating books, sort out childcare, ask your family for more help, ask your kid's dad for more help, try online-dating again, stop having sex before you're BF/GF, start getting proactive.

Mustangsally12 Sat 16-Jan-16 23:37:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mustangsally12 Sat 16-Jan-16 23:38:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooAvenue Sun 17-Jan-16 00:03:13

Mustang I completely disagree with almost everything you've written. I am stunned you are with someone who thought you were a slag shock genuinely how can you be with a man that judges women like that?

BooAvenue Sun 17-Jan-16 00:05:32

And saying "do I look poor" when someone offers to buy you a drink is not 'cool' or 'independent' it's just unnecessarily obnoxious; far more classy to reply with a simple "no thank you".

Kimberley00001 Sun 17-Jan-16 04:28:29

I wouldn't give anyone the time of day who assumed I was a slag, good looking or not

Catpants123 Sun 17-Jan-16 05:09:20

What a horrible story mustangsally.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Sun 17-Jan-16 08:33:36

Crikey, Mustang. That's a shockingly classless story!

You are rude and with a man who thinks adult women living their lives as adults are slags.

RedMapleLeaf Sun 17-Jan-16 09:13:40

Wow, wasn't expecting that.

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