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advice and opinions needed - - relates to a erotic lit but def not the norm

(44 Posts)
greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 18:23:38

today I discovered my partner had been reading articles on a website entitled - generally erotic writing but with a lot of incest (although adult - teenage 18+) content- to be honest I am just shell shocked and cant quite process this and don't know what to even think about it ... Is this something someone could do without being that way inclined - and just searching for erotic lit ? what would you think - how would you react to this ? just don't know where to go with this ...

Talcumsoul Fri 08-Jan-16 18:37:56

Well wasn't there a best seller, Flowers in The Attic, all about incest? A bit yuk.
Ooh are you advertising this dodgy site?

RealityCheque Fri 08-Jan-16 18:40:41

Do you think people can read horror literature without being 'inclined' to disembowel their neighbours?

Do you think everyone who read 50 shades are into BDSM?

It's a story. Nothing more.

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 18:49:16

Im def not advertising the site - there to show what type of stuff it is - and its certainly NOT flowers in the attic type (which I read as a teenager) - its detailed and explicit. It dosent feel like a joke to me - how would you feel about this if you had teenage DCs ?

RealityCheque Fri 08-Jan-16 18:58:50

I do have teenage kids.

I am also able to differentiate between fiction and reality.

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:05:40

wow - so you would not be at all concerned about the possible thought processes behind it - you'd be quite ok with books detailing at length (NOT in a flowers in the attic way) family incest ? is this really the general view ? I don't much like porn but the bog standard stuff I wouldn't get worked up about - this seems different - but am I wrong ?

AnyFucker Fri 08-Jan-16 19:07:14

You are not wrong. Are you going to speak to him about it ?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Fri 08-Jan-16 19:10:50

I'd be totally squicked by someone getting off on incest fantasies, just as I would if it was rape, or underage, or scat. I'd assume it's something he finds sexy which would make me put him in the 'don't want to have sex with' box

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:13:08

thanks AnyFucker - yes I guess so - except to be honest it wont be easy - he will be volatile to say the least about it so need to think how to approach it ... How bad is it ? - after realitys post Ive started to question my initial outrage over it ... I guess it dosent necessarily mean you are thinking of actually doing it - BUT its just horrible - or so I think ..

TheBestChocolateIsFree Fri 08-Jan-16 19:15:33

Same generation or parent-child? Loads and loads of people read questionable sibling incest fanfic (apparently, not a Supernatural fan myself). Cross generational not so much.

HermioneWeasley Fri 08-Jan-16 19:17:42

Is it specifically close family (eg: father/daughter, brother/sister?). There's step parents, uncles and aunts, long lost relations. I rarely disagree with AF, but I don't think it necessarily means he's dangerous.

I read lots of filth that would do NOTHING for me if it were a RL situation.

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:17:45

thanks Obsidian - yes it does have that effect ...its weird stuff - loads of actual books - that just go on and on essentially about the same explicit things - just stomach churning and boring as well (hard to achieve at the same time but they seem to manage it)

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Fri 08-Jan-16 19:19:39

How do you mean he will be volatile to say the least?

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:20:39

its all sorts - includes neighbours, general girlfriend/boyfriend (fine of cuorse) - but then mother-son (and also includes the neighbours all together) seems to be a favourite though, also father-daughter and mum is OK with it ....cant believe Im writing this - YUK yuk

Kacie123 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:20:59

I agree that fantasies don't necessarily equate to real life activities. And I've also stumbled across some questionable websites in my time which DH might stare at and wonder wtf I'd been clicking away at in aghast curiosity!

Having said as much (and I'm slightly cautious about googling it myself) - could incest fantasies be a sign of an abusive childhood maybe? How do you feel about bringing it up with him?

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:22:27

obsidian - he certainly wont stay calm for a discussion - but not physical - rather shouting and not in control I would imagine

mudandmayhem01 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:23:22

I visit literotica occasionally, I have particular authors I like and sections I go to, I avoid the incest/ taboo but it seems to a massive section and is always heading the most popular stories, so I don't think his tastes are unusual, but makes me feel squeamish.

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:23:49

kacie - yes I have certainly wondered this before re his dad and physical - but not with respect to his mum though ....

Offred Fri 08-Jan-16 19:28:44

I think you just need to talk to him.

Keep two things in mind;

1. There is a difference between reading and doing. I'm more than slightly obsessed with serial killings, I am absolutely not a serial killer. Sometimes an interest in something is more about the psychology of it than the reality of it.

2. You don't need to be ok with something just because your partner is. What other people feel about it is nothing to do with what you feel about it. You go by what you feel.

I had one sexual partner who was very interested in an incest fantasy, it was a way to achieve an ultimate submission for them. It was nothing to do with being turned on by real incest at all.

Offred Fri 08-Jan-16 19:31:37

And no this person was not abused in childhood. It wasn't anything to do with their family or their childhood or anything in actual reality, it was a way of ultimately connecting with a submission fantasy really.

Leigh1980 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:32:52

I've read it once and I'm definitely not that way inclined. I was curious as I had heard about it so wanted to see it for myself.

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:34:53

I guess I will have to discuss it with him...
Leigh - are you referring to this specific site ? is it well known then ?

Offred Fri 08-Jan-16 19:34:54

I'd be more concerned about the "shouting and not in control" in discussions TBH.

It's fair enough to be concerned about the incest porn and to ask him about it. He needs to explain himself so you can understand why he is interested in it. He should be able to discuss it.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Jan-16 19:35:47

why would he be "volatile" ?

can you not talk to this man about something that is bothering you ?

so far we have

1) penchant for incest porn (so far you say only written, which I do personally have less of an issue with than filmed)

2) he makes it impossible for you to tell him how you feel by becoming "volatile", thus you alter your behaviour to avoid settting him off

it's not looking too good from here

greenfield001 Fri 08-Jan-16 19:37:28

having teenage DDs and reading the one (or at least part of it - as its a whole books worth) about the father -daughter one (incl the mums happy reaction to it) was just upsetting and unsettling and I cant get my head around it ..

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