Over Christmas I introduce my new partner to my mum and my step dad, I have had a few issues with my step dad over the 5 years or so he has been with my mum, he's one of those people who thinks he knows everything, he has strong political views which makes him boarder line racist and has made several inapropriate comments towards me and my children, because I have not wanted to upset my mum I have kind of put up with it and kept my mouth shut.
So I took new partner over to their house for half an hour, my new partner was obviously nervous but tried to make conversation, they asked him what he did for work so he explained ( he has a good job and went into quite a bit of detail ), step dad was a bit rude and made a few comments that were not really appropriate and he made some comments about me and my past which I wasn't happy about, we didn't stay long as I felt that my step dad was being a prick. A few days later we were at a family event and again my step dad upset me with a comment about my daughter that was really upsetting ( my daughter has special needs ) and he practically blanked my new partner as did my mum.
I went to visit my mum yesterday and she told me I shouldn't trust my new partner as there's something about him they don't like, she also said 'we think everything he says is lies', I was very upset so went to talk to another family member who I am quite close too, she informed me that she had bumped into my mum and my mum had told her about my new partner and how they didn't like him because he thinks he knows everything , my mum also said that he was acting like he had known my dc's for years when he had only known them a month and that made them feel uneasy.
A few weeks ago my mum was fine about me being with someone and now she's being all funny with me, I'm sure my step dad has put all these thoughts in her head, I can see why they maybe worried, I haven't been single for long ( though dh and I were living together our relationship was over years ago, we stayed together because of the kids but didn't sleep together ), I am ready to move on, I have found someone I really like/love, he treats me well, my dc's like him and there's no major issues other than the fact he is still married ( and so am I ). My step dad just seems to clash with him and seems to think he's using me ( I am a single mum to 2 kids with sn's, I have no money, I don't own my home and at the moment I am not working so I'm not sure why he would use me?).
I am really upset that after meeting him a couple times briefly they have decided they don't like him, they don't know him and I feel my step dad has no right to judge as he's far from perfect, I feel like he has brain washed my mum, I now don't feel like visiting them, my partner knows they don't like him so now I can't take him over there. I feel sad, although my mum hasn't been the best mum I don't want to fall out with her but I don't want her upsetting me every time I see her and I don't want my step dad ripping me apart every time I go over ( which he does all the time ), he calls me lazy because I don't work, I am a carer for my daughter and cannot get childcare ( they have never offered to help and I have no one else ), he calls me a benefit scrounger and he this I sleep around, I don't want to be around him but he is always there when I visit my mum.
What do I do? I don't want them thinking that my new partner has taken me away from them or stopped my mum from seeing her grandchildren but I am not going to finish with my partner just because 'they have a feeling something is not right about him', this about way more than my new partner, it's just the icing on the cake after putting up with his rude comments for years.
Sorry for the long post
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Relationships
My family don't like my new partner
7 replies
Lovemusic33 · 07/01/2016 12:29
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