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reasonable explanation for this?

(27 Posts)
yououghtaknow Wed 06-Jan-16 14:47:50

I've changed names as I don't want my posts under my usual name to cloud any responses to this. Fwiw my other posts are mainly about another family member.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to this situation and to be honest I'm embarrassed to even post about it as it sounds so bloody ludicrous.

I've been married to DH for a few years and have one baby DD.

Our sex life has been pretty poor since having DD she's not a great sleeper and H works alot so I'm usually tired and just not in the mood when finally does get home late at night.

There's been a couple of situations that I just can't decide what to make of them and hope that someone can give me a rational explanation for them.

First was several weeks ago while doing the ironing I found a women's top in among my clothes. It was unwashed as stunk of perfume and was not mine nor any friends as if was such a small size I've got no friends who wear that clothes size. I asked Dh and he said he didn't have a clue about it. There wasn't really any reaction about it. I'd had a beautician over a few days previously and he suggested it was her top and had simply got caught up. To be honest it's something she'd wear and is a plausible explication. I did text her to ask if it was hers but haven't had a reply. She's fairly busy so not unusual from her. So I've pushed into the back of my mind.

We gone away for a few days and H has solely been with me since the weekend. Last night whilst getting intimate I found wrapped around his genitals a long ladies hair which is a completely different colour to mine so 100% not mine. I pulled it off and showed it to H who immediately tossed it away and pointed out he's been with me alone and he's showered etc everyday and suggested it's come from using the hot tub or pool at our destination. I know this sounds completely ludicrous but I just can't stop wondering where the hell it's come from to get wrapped around his penis and balls. He's worn shorts in the hot tub and pool so just don't understand.

Please someone tell me there's a logical reason to this and it's not as my head is screaming that DH has been near another women. Nev34 ever before this would I have said he would cheat in fact I'd put money on the fact he would never be unfaithful but I just can't explain this away

yououghtaknow Wed 06-Jan-16 15:04:24

I should say if I don't reply for a while its not because I've vanished, I'm still currently away with DH and have restricted signal but I do plan to return to the thread when I can get signal

NoodleNuts Wed 06-Jan-16 15:20:07

I'm a bit confused as to why a beautician would remove her top at your house and not put it back on again? Is it her size?

I can't think of an explanation as to how the hair got there but if he has been with you since the weekend then I can't see when he could have cheated? If he has been bathing/showering daily then surely any hair from prior to the weekend would have been washed away by now.

Is it just these two things that have made you suspicious or are there other things too?

KramerVSKramer Wed 06-Jan-16 15:20:59

It does sound as though he could be seeing someone else. Don't say anymore about it until you've had chance to analyse his windows of opportunity and to drill down in the areas where you will know could catch him.

Do your research and don't be taken for a fool.

yououghtaknow Wed 06-Jan-16 15:35:58

There's nothing else really that's given me cause to be suspicious.

I honestly can't remember if my beautician took her top off or not on this occasion as I was busy trying to settle DD who picked her moment to meltdown. She has on other occasions taken off her top as she wears layers and it's pretty hot in my house so she has taken off the top layer before putting on her tunic/apron. But I couldn't say for sure this time it was hers or not. I'm not overly sure it's the same size as she would wear either I thought it would even be on the small size for her.

It's the hair I just can't explain. He has showered daily which is what makes me think it would be washed away by now but it was wrapped around pretty good I had to unwind it to get it off when I saw it. He was adamant about it being from the hot tub but it's a private tub and his shorts that he wears in it are long with lile built in support bits at the groin so I don't see how a hair would get up there and that tangled.

Wrecking my head for a plausible excuse here and I don't want to think the worst but I just can't understand how it would get there

yououghtaknow Wed 06-Jan-16 15:39:21

Kramer he's at work most days and works long hours sometimes until late evening . He has to visit various offices he's responsible for so I don't know where he is and can't account for him daily I've always just trusted that he's at work as he says.

He's got a work phone and a personal phone. I know pass code for his personal phone and there is none on his work phone but I've never had cause to check either.

StealthPolarBear Wed 06-Jan-16 15:44:23

It sounds very suspicious

Diggum Wed 06-Jan-16 15:47:09

Well, if you could get confirmation from the beautician that's it's her top I'd chalk the hair down to one of those weeeeeeird things that happen sometimes? So bizarre though!

But if the top isn't the beautician's I'd be on high alert for other suspicious events.

WickedWax Wed 06-Jan-16 15:48:42

I dunno. If he's been with you constantly since the weekend then the only explanation for the hair is the hot tub or pool isn't it?

RudeElf Wed 06-Jan-16 15:57:02

Wow. I think it seems pretty obvious it is the beautician's top and that the hair has been picked up from your hotel/swimming pool/hot tub/hotel towels.

thehillshaveyes Wed 06-Jan-16 16:05:37

If he is cheating then I'm sure the other woman wouldn't be so careless as to forget her top would she?

Jan45 Wed 06-Jan-16 16:16:51

I'd not think the worst - unless of course there was mistrust there already....

lampshady Wed 06-Jan-16 16:19:19

The hair I think can be explained away. It could've got on to towels, bedding etc if your room has been serviced. The top - wait until you hear back from the beautician.

Epilepsyhelp Wed 06-Jan-16 16:22:19

The hair could easily have been in the bed, from a chambermaid etc. The top does sound like the beautician but wait and see what she says before you make up your mind.

BloodyPlantagenets Wed 06-Jan-16 16:25:45

Maybe he's a cross dresser and the hair is from his wig?

AliceInUnderpants Wed 06-Jan-16 16:31:34

If the beautician hasn't responded in 'several weeks' why don't you give her a call? Surely she'll answer, assuming you to be a client for an apppointment. If it's her top, I'd assume the hair to have come from housekeeping e.g. If it's not, you have a problem....

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit Wed 06-Jan-16 16:54:39

If you have no reason to suspect anything, no weird reactions I'd assume as he says. I would want to know the top was definitely the beauticians though. I'd assume hair from the bed or similar. It can happen. Hotel rooms are really not cleaned tone guaranteed 100% free from random hair. Hopefully it is just randomness.

Smorgasboard Wed 06-Jan-16 17:05:15

The hair is very tenuous, could easily be picked up in hotel bed from room cleaning staff. Have his hours got longer or his behaviour changed lately? There will be more obvious clues if you bide your time, if there is anything to worry about. Not enough to accuse yet I'd say.

bjrce Wed 06-Jan-16 17:56:29

I am surprised your dh stated it might belong to the beautician, why would he say that?. Does he know she sometimes removes her tops in your home? It sounded bizarre to me that he would make that statement.
How did he react when you asked him about the top. If he didn't seem bothered and it does transpire that the top belonged to the beautician. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
If you are confident that your h was with you all the time on the trip, did you join him in the hot tub?

RivieraKid Wed 06-Jan-16 19:27:31

I found a women's top in among my clothes. It was unwashed as stunk of perfume

This might sound like an obvious Q but did you recognise it as your beautician's perfume?

ElfishPresly Wed 06-Jan-16 20:40:40

I really don't think there is too much to go on here. If he's been with you on holiday when has he had the opportunity to cheat?

Also the top could be easily explained by your beautician as she's changed in your home before.

I'm all for trusting your gut but I can't see anything too suspicious about the situation if you've never had a reason to doubt him in the past.

KwickNC Wed 06-Jan-16 20:47:17

I was going to ask the same as riviera but was beaten to it!

FellOutOfBedTwice Wed 06-Jan-16 20:53:59

The top is up for debate but the hair must be from the hotel in some way. Nothing else makes sense

Andthentherewasmum Wed 06-Jan-16 21:08:13

Is it possible he has some kind of fetish and has taken the top from somewhere for himself for his own use iyswim?

Might explain how the hair got there.

yououghtaknow Thu 07-Jan-16 14:30:46

Sorry dor the lack of reply the phone signal here is awful and I have to go to reception for wifi.

We're in a self catering place so other than the day of arrival the place hasn't been turned down by the staff.

He wouldn't know that she sometimes takes off her top layer as he's never usually there when the beautician is and if by chance he's come home the odd time he's gone to a different room.

I don't recall smelling the perfume on the beautician either but the top was so heavy with perfume it was overpowering and it's not a scent I recognise either.

The only other time he's made me stop and think was just after DD was born. I was clearing out drawers in her room that he had used for clothing and found a small pack of unopened condoms. We haven't used then for around 5 years due to other form of contraception and it wasn't a brand that we would use either we always bought just the one brand. I did question him on it but I can't remember the reply and to be honest I was under a hormonal cloud of DD I just pushed it out of my head until now.

We've been together for 10 years this is the first time there's ever been a seed of doubt or concern in my head.

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