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Would you be annoyed?

(62 Posts)
TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:30:49

I've had a hard day with a 6 week old baby and a toddler who has done everything they've been asked not to! DH fully aware and had been told that I was eagerly awaiting his return from work.

Despite this he went to the pub this afternoon ( he has a job where "meetings" can be held in the pub). He didn't leave the pub until about twenty minutes after his usual finish time. He called during his commute home and we agreed he would collect a takeaway. He called again an hour later when he got off the train to say he was on his way to get our food. So I got the toddler bathed etc.

Almost an hour later he text to say he was waiting for the food and would be back soon! Turns out he had taken himself off to the pub to watch the end of s football game! This was never mentioned and I was expecting him to be about half an hour max after he got off the train. I was furious when he got in.... Crashing around because he was clearly trying to make out he was less drunk than he was. I had to put the toddler to bed ( DH didn't even come and say hello to him so he was crying). When I went back down he had dished up - 2 plates of what he had got from the takeaway and nothing that I had requested! He tried to say they didn't sell what I asked for, which is rubbish. He had just not ordered it for whatever reason. He has form for completely forgetting or disregarding things when he has drunk too much.

I have lost it with him big time and am now upstairs with the baby. Am I unreasonable or is he the selfish, inconsiderate prick I told him he was?

kittybiscuits Tue 05-Jan-16 21:46:30

I would be incandescent with rage. He is a selfish inconsiderate prick. Poor you x

HandyWoman Tue 05-Jan-16 21:49:47

definitely selfish, inconsiderate prick. I would add 'immature' for good measure.

It's not you. It's him.

Titsalinabumsquash Tue 05-Jan-16 21:51:38

He's a selfish prick, I'd be livid.

AugustMoon Tue 05-Jan-16 21:54:36

Don't most men do this? My H does. At least you got a call and a text message and food. Ha <bitter laugh>
Sorry, not very helpful. Ime this behaviour will NEVER change.

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:54:38

I'm glad you all think so as tomorrow he will make out that I completely overreacted. I'm afraid I threw his food on the floor in a rage when I realised that he hadn't got my food.

HandyWoman Tue 05-Jan-16 21:55:53

Good on you OP!!

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:56:48

I didn't get any food. It all went on the floor blush

He had only bought what he wanted... He had dished up two plates but it was something I would never order in a million years. So clearly he hadn't got me anything and then thought "oh shit" and tried to cover it up by sharing out his.

Fckup Tue 05-Jan-16 22:01:13

I am particularly high maintenance but that's so out of order even by my standards. My ex was like it all the time, feel for you.

kittybiscuits Tue 05-Jan-16 22:04:23

It doesn't bode well if this is how he behaves when you have a new baby. You will kick him to the kerb in the end, no doubt.

Squeegle Tue 05-Jan-16 22:11:24

I would be furious. My XP was like this with our new baby. He would avoid the work at bedtimes and go to the pub. It didn't improve. He is the X now.

lavenderhoney Tue 05-Jan-16 22:12:53

Yes he is. Assume he has cleared up, made you something to eat, tidied up, gone to look at toddler and hate himself for being such a selfish ass?

Does he drink a lot? It seems if he can't cope with the booze he ought to stop. And that's bollocks about " oh I'm in a pub having a meeting so I have to drink" I'm sure plenty of male and female people he meets in a pub don't drink! They sell coffee etc don't they?

Does he feel he has you over a barrel?

AnyFucker Tue 05-Jan-16 22:15:55

All this on a Tuesday night?

This is no way to live sad

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:17:59

He didn't clear up I did! He would have left it.
I had chocolate biscuits for dinner and am now in bed. No idea what he had. He sloped off.

No point talking to him until he sobers up. Tomorrow he will act like nothing happened or try and turn it around on me and say I was out of order.

Justdisappointed Tue 05-Jan-16 22:18:23

Another vote for selfish prick. My STBXH did this A LOT and it's especially annoying as you're imprisoned in the house (and he knows it).

magpie17 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:23:02

Sorry OP but he sounds horrible. I could not be married to a man who behaved this. Actually, I was married to a man who behaved like this - I divorced him. If I was you I would consider the same action...

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:24:17

He will say I'm bring too hard on him because he has" done everything" whilst off work over Xmas. He has done a lot with the toddler ( though he doesn't get his breakfast until at least 9am) and most of the cooking. I've done everything for the baby, all night feeds, all of the laundry.

I see it as him
Pulling his weight at last, he sees it as him being " amazing".

DraenorQueen Tue 05-Jan-16 22:27:53

No point talking to him until he sobers up. Tomorrow he will act like nothing happened or try and turn it around on me and say I was out of order.
See - in my head I could just about forgive the drunkenness....the selfishness... perhaps. BUT arseholes who have the gall to turn it round like this are just flawed.... horrible, dysfunctional people. He doesn't respect you as an equal very much, does he?!

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:28:53

I don't think he respects me full stop.

kittybiscuits Tue 05-Jan-16 22:31:09

Not much point talking to him tomorrow then, if he doesn't respect you and will be intent on deflecting blame and minimising his actions.

bjrce Tue 05-Jan-16 22:34:03

Op. You are absolutely shattered!

When you have dc as young as you have, the events today/ thus evening is enough to tip you over the edge.
One thing my friends and I always say re men and raking care if babies, they really haven't a clue how difficult it can be most days.
The whole takeaway episode was v frustratingly for you because firstly you had to wait ages for it and second he didn't even get you what you wanted.
Try and relax, have a bath or a drink to calm yourself down. Try not to stay angry, the only person you are upsetting us yourself. I really feel for you. We've all had those daysflowers

TiredMummy2015 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:49:56

I'm more annoyed that he took it upon himself to go to the pub when he got off the train! Like he has the right to just do whatever he wants, whenever he wants! He knew I was expecting him.

timelytess Tue 05-Jan-16 22:52:08

Can I say 'Bastard, bastard, bastard!' or is that not allowed on MN?
flowers for you, OP.

lavenderhoney Wed 06-Jan-16 00:10:10

Yes, he's a nightmare and not what you'd expected.

Rest and think- and there's no rush, thinking takes time,

And it did happen and you are v rightly pissed off. I bet if you'd been alone you'd have organised food for this very type of occasion because you knew you'd have no help.

TiredMummy2015 Wed 06-Jan-16 10:16:43

He had gone off to work without a word. I will get an email later either telling me I was out of order, or saying he is sorry but I completely overreacted. That he didn't think I'd mind or some other such bollocks.

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